#for some reason his dream guardian was obsessed with him even though he never used his tadpole once

[itsafreetrialofdeath]

been posting a lot of balian, so uh here’s more

[naradivision]

Miraitabi at Hogwarts

AU inspired from (and maybe coexist along) this prompt started by @uenodivision

Oh, Merlin’s Beard… Not me popping the new spin-off LMAO

Also, before we hops onto this train, let me disclaim it clearly that there are a SH*TTON of my hallucination lore below... So, please feels free to speculate XD

Yer a wizard! O’ what house are you?

Official (Pottermore) | Replica 

Still looking for a wand?

Official (Pottermore) | Replica 

Discover your Patronus —the magical guardian will guide you the way

Official (Pottermore) | Replica

Disclaimer: The series “Harry Potter” belong to J.K. Rowling, and well, these headcanons of mine may not all follow to those quizzes above. And in case you’re going to try testing for multiple OCs, I suggest you to use the “Replica” link instead because the official tests are tied with the registered account (so for short it’s one account for one result from each test on official site).

⋆｡˚✶⋆ Anyway, LETZ GO ⋆✶˚｡⋆

—Yuuya

5th Year Gryffindor

Wand:  Black Walnut wood, 11 inches and reasonably supple flexibility with a core that claimed to be a unicorn hair 

Patronus:  A stag

Favorite Subjects:  Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, Flying

Chaser on Gryffindor Quidditch Team

Adopts a stray Siamese cat named “Ojou-chan” as his pet

Often hangs out with his bestie from Hufflepuff

Quite a humble lad but tends to get himself into troubles because his wand like to act on its own…

However, looks like lately he has been given more chances to become more and more bolder

After discovers his wand has a weird relation toward a certain ghost, he soon makes up his mind to stick with her in order to find out why —It eventually develops into his voluntary will to help her find some clue about herself though

In fact; his current wand is the second one he won from disarming a smuggler that attacked his housemate for witnessing their illegal business at Shrieking Shack during his fourth year’s Hogsmeade trip, his first wand is broken due to this incident

Actually enjoys learning about charmwork but always gaslights himself into thinking he’ll never being good at it

Burntout teenage trying to find his own Lumos

At the beginning is about to get sorted as a Hufflepuff, but unknowingly, the old hat changes its answer at the last second and tells him that —He does remind it of someone

Half-blood; never knows his father is a wizard until he revealed to him after getting a divorce from his mom

Separated from his dear sister since young, also never heard anything from her ever since

His father passed away via an accident which Yuuya forever blames himself for not being able to do anything

—Asahi

5th Year Hufflepuff

Wand:  Cedar wood with a pheonix feather core, 10 inches, and pliant flexibility

Patronus:  A corgi

Favorite Subjects:  Potions, Herbology

Yuuya’s neighbor and childhood friend

Muggle-born, thus he is super curious to explore everything in wizarding world

Very very surprise for his invitation letter to Hogwarts and even more when learning someone who is like his brother-next-door is also a wizard

His letter came in pretty late, so that’s why he has entered in the same year as his younger friend

The Headache of Potions professor because he is quite obsessed with putting things he gets interested into a pot and sees if it’s gonna work

However, funnily enough; he is scoring well on this subject because of his accidental discovery on 50+ more easier unconventional ways to formulate the same potions with the same properties

Kinda knowledgeable about plants, knowing which kind could be edible and even how to make it taste good

Very great at baking and cooking, house’s elves are losing their career

Genuinely wants to befriend Hogwarts’s elves, but the elves don’t want to befriend him because he mostly doesn’t left his chores for them to do

Have a dream to open his own sweets shop in Hogsmeade

Whenever Gryffindor has a match with other houses, you can always finds him at the front-row seat cheering for his friend —Oh, that’s maybe the reason he sometimes earns a scowl from his housemates

A loyal buddy who is happy to tag along your adventure through thicks and thins

—Saigo

Alumnus of Ravenclaw

Wand:  Sycamore wood with a unicorn hair core, 12 ¾ inches, and unyielding flexibility 

Patronus:  A red-crowned crane

Expertise:  Arithmancy, Ancient Runes

New “Studies of Ancient Runes” Professor

Graduated with the highest scores on N.E.W.T.s. in his generation

Pure-blood but he’d rather judge you by your competence

(His paternal lineage except him and his father is known for being sorted into Slytherin)

Used to be a high-level executive who oversees the business with Gringotts but later got exploited by his own family, so currently he has accepted an offer to teach at Hogwarts as some breather

His hobby is experimenting new spells from runes

Secretly have an avid interest toward artifacts from all over the world

Known for his ability to cast multiple complex and functional spells all at once

Known for his always scowling face and strict nature, but in truth, he does care a lot about his students

Tired Dad™ even if he never has kid

Likely becomes the pseudo-parent to two kids and one ghost(?) as he often runs into their shenanigans by chance

And because he is technically new to the school, he doesn’t know much about its current situation until overhearing that something has gone suspense to the point authority might allow the Auror to station at Hogwarts just in case

Soon becomes suspicious of that one ‘Sneaky Cat’ who loves to loiter around his student and gets a bit unsettled knowing the school seems likely to ignore this invader

—Ange

Hogwarts’ little ghostie

Or that’s what she believes

Transparent Genki Girl with amnesia

She is still determined to know more about her past life though

Hogwarts ghosts are pretty welcome to her arrival, they often act like her parents and even becomes supportive of her whenever she wants to kick Peeves’s ass

Oh yeah, she has a beef with Peeves (Hogwarts’s Poltergeist) since that mischief likes to harass other students out there!

With her nature of ghost, she can pass through solid objects and is unable to physically touch something —However, unlike other ghosts, she has shown to be quite expressive and had her preferences leaning more aligned to those of the mortal ones

Looks all cute and smol but isn’t so harmless due to her bizarre ability to meddle with most kinds of magic, especially the magic from that wizard boy’s wand

Claims to be able to communicate with the magic power living within each person’s wand and is super curious to know what Hogwarts students normally learn in their classes

Yuuya has speculated that she might have used to live as a very powerful witch before passing away… But, who will know the truth anyway?

From what she could utmostly recall, she had come to haunting around the fringe of Forbidden Forest without any memory until one day the little cat lead its wizard boy to come across her by chance

That day she has gained her first wizard friend who is willing to talk with her and she is very appreciative of their friendship

Really, really LOVES to talk —Can’t never seem to shut up about something that piques up her interest

Together with her now two wizard friends, she is looking forward to any journey this wicked destiny would bring to herself

—“Mr Sneaky Paw”

Alumnus of Slytherin

Wand: Pine wood and a dragon heartstring core, 12 ¾ inches, and supple flexibility

Patronus:  A black cat

Expertise:  Transfiguration, Nonverbal Spells

Cat Animagus 

Used to known as “Maverick of The House”

Half-blood but hid the fact only to let public know he is Muggle-born; guesses it’s needless to explain further ado about his reputation

A walking Marauder’s Map; already having every nook of Hogwarts mapped in his head

Secretive Bastard™ with Order of Merlin’s First-Class sass

Saigo doesn’t like him and the feelings are mutual

(His surrogate family is related to Saigo from his mother’s side and all were sorted into Ravenclaw)

Once being accused to work for Daily Prophet due to his habit to sneak around here and there but surprisingly isn’t

Here’s the second doubt for him being a Dark Arts appreciator since he seems to know a lot about it in great details —However, it’s still a mystery of which faction he truly affiliates to or why he had come to Hogwarts in the first place

Suggests “Nah we’d flee” for most fights, actually is a veteran duelist

The kind of quick caster who isn’t proficient at playing fair

Attempts to be friendly-friendly with Yuuya for unclear agenda despite their house’s enmity, he even goes as far as providing him some little helps and secretly looks out for him from the dark

...Lastly, shall we all raise our wands to pay respect for every greatest witch and wizard who had dedicated themselves to bringing this series to life...

Happy Halloween, guys 🪄

[canyouheatmeuponafrozennight]

Watched: Kamen Rider Faiz Paradise Regained

"What is the answer?" "The answer... is to keep asking that question." "Are you trying to play it off?" "I am"

A shallow, awkward, pointless, meaningless, weightless movie, which raises the question if they even still knew what Faiz was as they made it. (namely, Faiz itself fell off halfway through, but instead of trying to save face after that, it only sunk itself deeper)

None of the characters in this movie have a role, but let's start by talking about Kamen Rider Muse. At first her "don't look, that's so embarassing" gimmick made no sense to me, but after a while I figured it was meant to be an Eve imagery, the shame of being naked, and later she regains Paradise, no longer feeling shame of baring herself. Which makes absolutely no sense in multiple layers. First and foremost, she isn't naked, she isn't getting naked, she's going from dressed to armored. To make this symbolism? metaphor? work, what needed to be done was either the henshin actually ripping her clothes off, or the inverse, she feels shame of being untransformed. She arrives on the battlefield transformed, and at the end of battle de-transforms and runs away embarassed because she wants not to be seen as anything other than KR Muse. And once she regains her Paradise, she doesn't run away or shows her face without thinking anything of it. And why did she regain Paradise even? Offering Mari to Smartbrain made her obtain "God's forgiveness"? It might be pointless to even try to think about it, as I think most of this movie's beats were made on a whim, not with a purpose.

Paradise Lost, while still barebones, constructed a barely passable Adam in Takumi, but Paradise Regained had a void. He says so many empty lines that try to sound deep or philosophical that one would think he is pre-Loss Adam though, as there's not a drop of knowledge in him. Is Takumi being a husk of his former self, not the guardian of dreams or a fighter with any reason, meant to represent Adam's ignorance pre-loss? Which is a complete denial of his story in the show, and thus makes the fact this is a sequel pointless? And if you think about it, Orphenochs are a new humankind, yes, but there's so many of them and they reproduce by killing humans, why are we making Takumi an Adam and Muse/Mari his Eves? (Paradise Lost used the Adam/Eve images very well, its final scene being truly worth of the title) Muse has no backstory, no reason to her love for Takumi, she simply enters the story, says she loves him and dies. If that's the use for the character, it could simply be written so: She was created to be his partner, being conditioned to be obsessed with him. Then in reality she was just there to watch him not step out of line and deal with it accordingly if he ever showed signs of no longer wanting to be SB's dog, but when it happens, she's grown too affectionate to eliminate him and lets him go. Not anything ground breaking or amazing, but at least would make her story have a drop of sense, there'd be some writing to it, not just hollow loose statements disguised as a character.

Onto the other Eve, why is Mari suddenly Takumi's love interest? What was great about Faiz (to me) was that they never had anything going on. Takumi protected her, meddled a little with her love affairs, but was never part of it himself. Why do they have Orphnoch sex? Whose fetish was it to have two monster suits making out? SHOW YOURSELF Takumi isn't the guardian of dreams, is in love with Mari, doesn't have a single thought in his mind, did someone write this movie after watching one episode of Faiz or reading a series summary? Also I hate how they turn letting someone blow his food into a love language, feels even worse now that he's this old. 50yo man gets his gf to blow his food because he's too sensitive DELETE THIS MOVIE NOW ⚡️⚡️⚡️ I SAY IT WITH 100% 1000%

EXTRAS

oh kusaka is in this movie too but it's so stupid and forced that it's obvious they just wanted to sell a new Kaixa toy and have some "i clapped because i know that" when Kusaka smiles funny. He has no arc no role and no point in this movie, an insult to all Kusaka stands for (nothing but respect for my main villain that happens to be a kamen rider). Writing room must hate him, because neither movies or show bothered to treat him with respect when he carries the show. I don't think I need to say it, but the "twist" is braindead. No excuses.

The new characters are even more worthless and pointless than him, doing nothing for the story and being ugly suits. My favorite thing about Faiz was how every orphnoch was beautifully designed and looked great, that original designer probably wasn't available or might not be alive anymore, so they hired someone who does modern suits and we got those awfully ugly orphnochs.

RATING

0.5/10 because I liked listening to Justifaiz, but I think it should have played when he transformed using the original Faiz Gear, not a few minutes later when the final battle starts.

[malarki]

Harry Potter FanFiction I greatly enjoy (it’s just tomarry and sevitus)

Fair warning, I’m not good at describing stuff, and most of these are not complete (yet) but if you have similar tastes as I do then you’ll definitely like these stories.

Meddling of a Mischief Maker - by Athy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5380535/chapters/12427268

I enjoy this fic because it shows a more human Voldemort with him still being an asshole as per usual. They do a good job of having Voldemort believably change into a not crazy murderous bastard haha. It also has Sirius interacting with Voldemort and for some reason I find those scenes hilarious in any fic I read.

“Harry's being a horcrux is a bit reworked here in this AU Story set during the summer after 5th year. A Mischief Maker intervenes in the Ministry during Voldemort and Dumbledore's duel, changing the course history. MorallyGrey!Dumbledore, Sirius, Restored Souls, HP/TR”

Draw Me After You (Let Us Run) - by ToAStranger @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327684/chapters/53334382

This story is a delight, it’s tone is very good and they do a great job of writing in the characters ‘voices’ for their pov’s. I especially like the posh way Voldemort talks and acts. This story is also hilarious on top of just being a very good slowburn, AND it has Sirius, which as you might have guessed, I love dearly. They also don’t bash any of the characters, and instead make them well rounded but flawed individuals, which I really appreciate.

“Harry Potter,” comes the soft, sibilant hiss of a voice he has heard in his dreams, in his nightmares, in his waking hours for years.

Slowly, carefully, Harry twists over and pushes up onto his hands and knees. He stays there, short breath fogging in front of his face, and his pursuer lets him. Harry has no doubt of that; he’s being allowed this respite. This small moment to catch his bearings, heart pounding in his ears, blood singing.

“It seems I have finally caught you.”

Consuming Shadows - by Child_OTKW @childotkw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040089/chapters/16011331

I’ve read two of childOTKW’s fics and both of them are fantastically written and attention grabbing stories. This one was the first one I read, and it has a very interesting take on lily Potter (one which I really enjoy) and the plot can leave you on the edge of your seat at times. The characterization is great, and the process of Harry and Tom getting to know each other is done very well.

“His attention skipped passed the students and moved to the politicians’ pavilion. His gaze locked with crimson, and he nearly faltered under the sheer hunger in those eyes.

It unnerved him how fixated the man was on his dirtied, exhausted figure.

But what troubled him more was the slight smirk he could make out on the man’s lips. It was almost pleased.

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.”

A story that is kind of similar but not really: The Train to Nowhere

You Belong To Me (I Belong To You) - by child_OTKW

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270490/chapters/25203408

This is a story inspired by the manwha ‘At The End Of The Road’ by Haribo. A comic I read before reading this, which is very good I recommend it. They do not take the exact plot from the comic though, obviously changing significant details for it to work properly as a Tomarry Fic, but one main thing stays the same, which is that this is a body swap. Honestly I really enjoy childOTKW’s works, and this is no exception. The characterization is wonderful as always, and Harry is Fantastic. Plus I’ve always been a fan of time travel fics. (Fair warning this is another slow burn and Harry centric)

“What I find absolutely fascinating,” Riddle said, stalking closer, “is you.” He marched forward, backing Harry up until he was pinned to the cool wall of the common room. “Do you know why?”

“No. And I’ll be honest here, Riddle, I don’t particularly care.”

The taller boy grinned at him, small yet infinitely pleased. “That. Right there.” One hand rose and brushed some of Harry’s fringe from his face. “Nathan Ciro was a spineless little boy too afraid of his own shadow to dare even glance in my direction. But you…”

He leaned closer, “You look at me like you want to stab me.”

“After an accident, Auror Harry Potter wakes up in the body of fourteen year old Nathan Ciro, a tormented Slytherin who recently tried to end his own life. Seeking answers to his strange predicament, Harry returns to Hogwarts, and causes quite the stir through staff and students - especially when they come to realise he is not the same boy as before.

He tries to avoid suspicion, but as his quest for the truth draws more and more attention to him, Harry begins to think that he might not like what he will discover.”

Some Bonus AU tomarry

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars - by Haplessshippo @haplesshippo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015060/chapters/27191238

This is a star trek au and it’s honestly my favorite tomarry au fic. Granted, I am a huge sci-fi fan. There’s also a bit of a twist at the end, or at least it surprised me, due to the way we usually expect tomarry plots to go.

“Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.”

The Matchmaker - by TanninTele

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16507676/chapters/38664089

I am ALSO a huge true crime fan, and this story has a criminal that kinda reminds me of one that might appear in Hannibal (but with less murder). I enjoy the characterization, though tom is pretty tame in this compared to more cannon fics, considering he’s not the criminal and instead an investigator. Harry is also different from how people usually portray him, but I still like it.

“'The Matchmaker' is a serial abductor whose modus operandi consists of pairing two same-sex individuals together in a coffin, six feet underground - buried alive. He isn't a killer. He's a kidnapper with morals, and Detective Chief Inspector Tom Riddle finds himself obsessed with solving the case.

Unfortunately for Tom, the Matchmaker is just as intent on knowing him.”

And on to the Sevitus Stories

Far Beyond A Promise Kept - by oliversnape

https://archiveofourown.org/works/547431/chapters/974693

A classic, Harry stays with snape and unintentionally proves all his assumptions wrong and makes snape care about him. Both the stories have this aspect, but this one has snape a bit nicer from the get go. Probably because it takes place during the third book, so they’ve only known each other two years. It’s quite wholesome though, and I rather enjoy the progression of their relationship.

“Snape never wanted anyone to know of his promise to Dumbledore, but has realised that he can protect Potter much better by taking a less passive role in the boy's training. Actually liking Harry Potter has never been part of his plan. mentor/guardian.”

Crime And Punishment - by melolcatsi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102232/chapters/58018174

Snape and Harry have way more of a rocky start in this one, and Snape having to pick Harry up from the police station Really Doesn’t Help Snape’s opinion of him. This story very realistically shows the progression of their relationship, going from enemies to family, and near the ‘end’ (it’s not finished) it becomes very wholesome with Snape trying to help Harry with his mental and physical health after years of abuse/ neglect.

“Harry is accused of burglary. The Dursleys leave him to rot. Dumbledore sends Snape to remedy the situation. Harry finds himself in the care of an irate Snape. Not slash, gen-fic w/ focus on Sevitus relationship. Angst galore. Warnings: coarse and suggestive language, mentions of abuse/neglect. Un-betaed and un-Britpicked.”

[virghogh]

NCT Dream Birth Charts x Hexaco Results Analysis pt. 1

recently NCT Dream were on a new reality show called Mental Training Camp where they are doing a variety of activities and all of their behavior and interactions are being analyzed by professional psychologists.

ofc my virgo sun mercury ass was thrilled and I had their birth charts pulled up the whole time to cross reference.

I wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on how the 2 might connect!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

**key: in the hexaco charts the blue represents the Dreamies, the orange is an average result of 300 college students who took the same test**

Mark - “Workaholic Leader”

✨leo sun // aries moon // cancer mercury // virgo venus // scorpio mars✨

they described him as a workaholic leader but quickly added that if he’s not now, he has potential to be in the future, although it seemed they all agreed he has workaholic spirit now 

this immediately made sense to me when you look at his chart i mean he’s being driven by a fire sun and moon and a scorpio mars (used to be ruled by mars) and virgo venus both of which are signs that have strong work ethics

the reason I like that they mentioned he could grow into it is because he’s still young and I agree that his placements could become more serious about work and life as he gets older, I think his leo sun/aries moon combo gives him very youthful energy but they’re still very driven signs

mark agreed that even throughout his trainee years when he was still very young, he was always practicing and was always called a workaholic. I see this in the intense drive, work ethic and perfectionism of virgo and scorpio but shining through with the warmth of his sun and moon

lets talk about this hexaco chart, what sticks out the most is Mark’s level of conscientiousness! (its so high like what even-) Conscientious people are careful, precise, detail oriented and in general care about doing their tasks well. I think this is directly connected to his scorpio mars! I always say that no matter what is in a chart, having a scorpio in big 6 will always have a strong influence and with a virgo venus, even though venus is considered a love planet it is also our value system, how we discern what is worthy and unworthy for us, and having virgo there makes him very practical. (as I mentioned though I think all of his placements together reflect a very driven person) (I also think mark is lucky to have a fire moon because if he had a water or earth I think his obsession and perfectionism of scorpio and virgo would make him d*pressed or too hard on himself) 

his virgo venus could even be why when they did the bag check they saw he’s quite “frugal” or practical and minimalist in the things he carries around. When you think about Venus, I mentioned it’s our values it’s also our aesthetics and it rules Taurus a materialistic sign, having virgo there gives me the impression of someone who is practical with their belongings, as we saw. 

We’ll see later in the post that there are a few Hexaco charts that I felt were a little unexpected but Marks imo was sooo spot on with his placements. With a fire sun and moon he’s very warm and open and has firey emotions. he’s not afraid to show them or be reactive and responsive (emotionality)! I think his honesty-humility reflects this too, he’s not too overly or underly honest, he’s just straightforward what you see is what you get and he answers in such a way too. His emotionality reflects the cancer mercury, the rashness of aries moon, and sensitivity of scorpio mars. 

tdlr; the human embodiment of driven, focused and hard working when it comes to his craft, but he loves to have fun in his outside life, and is practical in his inside life <3 his hexaco and birth chart align nicely

Jeno - “A scholar who gets hurt easily”

✨taurus sun // sagittarius moon // aries mercury // aries venus // taurus mars✨

so right off the bat I’m very curious where the scholar part comes in ?? They didn’t really reference it again in that way but I’m assuming they mean he’s very diplomatic? Defcon rephrased it as “you get miffed but well-mannered” 

a recurring comment was that he gets annoyed easily but doesn’t show it, I thought that was really funny because I feel like it reflects his aries influence well; being a little hot-headed but he has the patience of his taurus sun and mars to filter it :’) 

they talked a lot about how he gets hurt easily and mark even shared a cute lil story that practically had me on the floor because i just think it shows his taurus sooooo much I’d really love to have his house placements one day I’m really curious where his taurus is

if you didn’t see the episode basically mark said one time Jeno was passing some seniors in a building and said hi but they didn’t say hi back ): and just ignored him. Mark said Jeno was really hurt by that and went on about it for a long time saying stuff like “I’m sure they saw me” )): but he never expressed/acted on that hurt. taurus is represented by the bull so they do have a fierce side to them but imo i think taurus can be a really gentle/relaxed sign too; taurus mars is a slow to be angry slow to react placement, and one of the things taurus is well-known for is being fixed, stubborn, holding grudges which explains why that moment hurt and he held on to it. Jeno even agreed he tends to hold in a lot of his feelings and remembers little things that hurt him for a long time!

speaking of his taurus... they had a whole baseball analogy for the group saying that Jeno is a strong catcher, you can have a good pitcher but without a strong catcher the team would fall apart. They also mentioned a lot about Jeno not being in the spotlight, he doesn’t stand out, but he silently strengthens the team. And if that isn’t the most taurus description you’ve ever heard.,,,

I’ve been talking about his taurus a lot but at one point they said Jeno has a strong perfectionist side but he’s also very flexible and it’s difficult to have both. I personally see this a lot in his Sag moon (mutable) in contrast to his taurus placements (fixed). Sag moon to me always seem happy go lucky, if emotions come they go quickly too, mutable gives him that flexibility because they just like when things can change freely. It’s ruled by jupiter and I feel a common theme with sag in big 6 is it’s easy for people to be drawn to their jupiter qualities. They give the same freedom they crave, they can be very easy going and positive. Similar to mark, I also think it helps Jeno to have this moon sign over another! 

as for the hexaco, I’ll be honest the level of introvertness/shyness was a little surprising from an astrology stand point. When we see Jeno in all the NCT content I feel like it’s obvious he is on the shy side but if I was looking at only his chart, I don’t think I was expect it to be to the extent of the hexaco chart! (plss i need his birth time) in the same thread, his emotionality is really low and I can’t say I’m surprised from an astrology view😅 it’s not that he’s not compassionate or anything because he does care a lot about not upsetting people, but as we saw he is not very reactive and receptive emotionally ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  his openness is low too which fits what we’ve talked about above about his lack of reaction/expression of emotions, I feel like sag moons also don’t dwell especially with no water placements. 

The honesty and humility makes a lot of sense to me because i feel like taurus, aries and sag(!) are very righteous signs too! They care about integrity, they certainly might have their own idea of what is truth,.. but whatever it is, they believe in it! 

last note I want to make is on the whole “jeno isn’t funny” bit since they mentioned it. He said it hurt his ego when they first started the joke but it’s been going on for so long that I think he adapted to being able to take it as just that, a joke! It’s also funny to me that it started in the first place because earth signs are often called boring (it’s okay I’m an earth sign too lol) and I also have sag influence and I know people find me quite funny but I never try to be funny and it usually comes after my earth walls are down with close friends. 

tdlr; doesn’t ask or need spot light, gets annoyed easily but it doesn’t last, when something does hurt he remembers, slow or unlikely to be reactive and responsive, positive, comfort creature, loyal🥺

Chenle - “Friendly Guardian”

✨Sagittarius sun // Aquarius moon // scorpio mercury // scorpio venus // aquarius mars✨

there is something about chenle’s personality that I’ve always loved, he comes off as very warm, care-free, curious, friendly, caring. I like the personality title they gave him because I think it sums him up well. The members had all laughed when they saw it and enthusiastically agreed.  I also love his hexaco chart and think it reflects him really well, with most of it being just outside of the average :’) as far as how it reflects his birth chart, let’s get into it

I do want to disclaim that Chenle was born on the sag/scorpio cusp and to be a sag he would have had to be born after 3pm (!) but I think we would all agree he’s definitely a sagittarius sun anyways

Before this show when I watch nct dream content it always fascinated me how easy going chenle was in chaotic situations, he never seems too demanding or controlling, and sometimes i wondered if he was holding back for the cameras and was actually really frustrated but based off the hexaco it seems like he is actually just that agreeable, from looking at just his chart I don’t know if I would have guessed his agreeableness was that far. I know sag suns can be very easy going and aquarius is a more chilled sign but he has 2 aquarius and 2 scorpio placements they’re both fixed signs and quite like to be in control😅 (can we get a birth time pls) 

One argument could be the combination of sag sun with aquarius moon, since we have to look at all of it together. it does give me the impression of someone more easy-going possibly because there is the comfort of confidence! I feel like sag sun/aqua moon + mars would give someone a high opinion of themself (go chenle). this combination could create someone who is easy going because they don’t dwell and aren’t emotionally fueled nor do they fret over people that are. I’d say easy-going or maybe even just cool headed? He’s always laughing things off too, showing he doesn’t take himself too seriously! 

Speaking of taking things seriously, I think we can see this in the conscientious part of the hexaco, it was the lowest and I think it can be explained by what I mentioned above. It’s not that he isn’t driven or doesn’t work hard, he’s a full time idol they all work hard but I think it represents that work isn’t the focus of his life but rather people, connection, community, and just being happy is? 

they talked about how Chenle is the type of person that you meet and already feel like you’re friends. He could be the youngest in the room and talk down to you and you wouldn’t even think twice. This is huuuuge aquarius energy! I remember one of the first things I learned about aquarius was that they make friends everywhere. They talk to a stranger on the street for directions and next thing you know they’re “friends”

I also want to add that they mention he’s friendly but he gives off “big brother vibes” i feel like we’ve all seen that in other nct content too and would agree. This is interesting to me because sag and aquarius is not the same kind of friendliness as we see with marks leo sun aries moon. Leo and aries are “younger” signs, whereas aquas and sagittarius are towards the end of the signs, they’re considered “mature” signs which I feel contributes to chenle’s “big brother” energy. He has that aqua/sag energy where he seems really sure of himself, and wise and people look up to that.

I want to talk about his scorpio placements real quick because even though I just made a case for how open and easy-going he is, I’m still confused about how the scorpio fits into all of this. scorpio isn’t known to be one to be super open, agreeable or extroverted. I personally see his scorpio come out a lot in his realtionships. you can tell he cares deeply for his members and yes his aqua makes him get along with everyone but I feel like with the dream members we see that scorpio possessiveness and jealousy come out more. Lastly, I do want to add a little mystery to this, although his openness is high and it’s clear he is a very authentic person,,.. I definitely would not call him an open book👀

Chenle wasn’t able to be in the recording of this show unfortunately so all we got was a brief description of his hexaco chart and we won’t get any further analyses ): 

although I do agree that his hexaco chart reflects how he comes off in shows, I don’t think it completely reflects his chart so I’m going to say the house placements would help create a better picture! 

tdlr; fun and realtionships are a priority, he’s comfortable and confident in himself and people are drawn to that, v friendly😌but he has secrets👀

feedback, thoughts and clarifying questions are always welcome!

[snailsnfriends]

This is the third analysis and summary of Tommy’s prison stay with Dream

You can read through the first one here, and the second one here. Dialogue is color-coded: Tommy, Dream, Wilbur.

Stream: Dream Revives Tommy

The stream starts with Tommy in limbo. He asks if he’s dead, and is greeted by Wilbur. He and Wilbur interact with each other normally; nothing seems very different from how they’d interact while alive. Based on what we see and what we’re told, Tommy’s limbo is a whole lot of nothing. There is nothing but darkness, Wilbur, Schlatt, Mexican Dream, and himself. Objects do exist here (Wilbur complaining that he set up cards for six hours that morning), but we do not see them. Wilbur also seems to have knowledge about the universe, including when it ends. Eventually, we get this conversation (there is a lot of crosstalk here, so forgive the messiness of this):

“I’m really happy you’re here, man,” “Stop saying that to me, stop it,” … “You know why I’m glad Tommy? … Me and you were never good for that server… it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” “When you talk like this, I do the thing where my voice gets shaky, when you talk like this.” … “... if it weren’t for me and you dying, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back… it’s definitely gonna just go to shit again. … I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.”

Wilbur then talks about creating a solitaire arena, and Tommy is on the verge of revival. Now that we have some hindsight vision, we can analyze this a little more properly. When this was first streamed, we had no idea what Wilbur’s limbo looked like or if he had one. Now we know that they were able to speak to each other despite being in separate limbos. The way Wilbur is speaking here plays into Tommy’s fears and challenges his beliefs. Tommy is upset by his death and Wilbur’s happiness over it. Something to note about Wilbur being happy about his own death here is that Tommy grieved over Wilbur for a long time, and arguably, was still grieving at this point. Seeing Wilbur be happy about it compared to his grief is, understandably, upsetting. He has a hard time staying calm while Wilbur talks about this. Tommy, as stated in the last two streams, believes that Dream is the reason why the server is in shambles, not him and Wilbur. The fact that Wilbur, someone Tommy trusts, is saying this, makes Tommy uncomfortable and upset. Not only that, but the fact that Wilbur doesn’t have faith in his goodness if he comes back makes Tommy more anxious. Again, this is somebody that Tommy trusts and cares about. Wilbur speaking like this is concerning, to say the least.

Now, Tommy is revived, and visibly shocked. He can’t get a single word out for a while. He describes his limbo as “void.” He tells Dream who was there, which piques Dream’s curiosity even more. Dream asks what it feels like, and Tommy struggles to give an answer. After more stuttering and pacing, Tommy says it felt like being ripped apart and put back together again, all stretched out, shredded. He asks Dream to pinch him, and once Dream does it, he screams in retaliation. Touch has now become another trigger of Tommy’s. Once Dream tells him that nothing has changed and everyone thinks he’s dead, he responds with this:

“I was dead. I was- you killed me!”

Note that Tommy did not mention this immediately after revival. This acceptance, or, at least, realization, came about when Dream told him that everyone believes that he’s dead. This only comes into perspective for Tommy when he thinks about others, not himself being able to move around with Dream again.

After being told that he was dead for some time, Tommy panics, saying he was gone for plenty of time. He asks for Tubbo first multiple times, then Phil, then Fundy, then Sam. It’s very easy to see that Tommy is having a panic attack. He trips and falls over his words, he is not calm, he paces around the cell, he asks for people he’s friends with to help ground him, his breathing is shaky. Tommy is not stable at all right now, yet Dream continues to ask him questions about the afterlife. Tommy tries to piece together what happened. He knows how he died, but struggles to tell Dream how much time has exactly gone by. As Tommy tries to think, Dream speaks to him, so we get:

“Shut up! Shut up! H- sorry. I’m sorry.”

Though this seems minor, it really isn’t Tommy is not one to apologize for something like this, and he has no reason to apologize to Dream here. Tommy apologizes for his emotions when he’s nervous and ranty, but only to people he likes. It is not normal for Tommy to be apologizing here. He is not stable and is incredibly overwhelmed.

Each time the guardians make a noise, Tommy jumps. He stares at the walls and objects in the prison for a while before moving around again. Tommy is not only having a panic attack, but he’s also experiencing sensory overload; he is taking in more information than his brain can process. This only makes his panic worse. Not only that, but Tommy was deprived of his other senses while in limbo. He has not seen light in a while, nor has he felt anything other than pain. This makes the sensory overload worse because he now has to go back to “normal.” He goes from nothing to absolutely everything at once.

This is when Dream calls himself a god over being able to kill and revive people whenever he wants. Tommy moves on from this quickly, though, to ask Dream questions, because he does not have the capacity to process it. Now, Tommy talks about Wilbur:

“Dream, I thought he was like my brother, alright? Even before, I wasn’t sure… as much as I hate him, he was one of my best friends, whether I like him or not. Dream, I’ve been there for so long now, I take every last ounce of doubt I had back. Do not bring back Wilbur. Ever. Promise me you’ll never do that.”

We did not see all of Tommy’s time spent in limbo. We have no idea what could’ve been said within that time. However, we do know that what Wilbur said scared Tommy to the point where he was willing to be friends with his abuser to keep Wilbur dead. Wilbur and Tommy were very close, so hearing this from Tommy is major. What Wilbur said earlier, as previously stated, played into Tommy’s fears and challenged his beliefs. Tommy is severely overwhelmed right now, so he may be exaggerating, but the point still stands: What Wilbur said to Tommy scared him so much that he did not want Wilbur back, despite their close relationship.

But, of course, because nothing is that easy, Dream says that it is out of Tommy’s control. Dream suggests that Tommy could go back and take notes, which Tommy refuses quickly. Tommy explains that what he went through is not something Dream could possibly comprehend. Dream admits that the revive book is memorized after Tommy asks him to burn it. Afterwards, we get this:

“We can study it! We can study it together! We can become immortal together by studying it!” “I want absolutely fucking nothing to do with you.”

Dream does not see Tommy as a human being. Dream has heard Tommy describe the pain and anguish he went through in the afterlife, but he doesn’t care. This is also evidence of Dream’s obsession with Tommy; his want to be immortal with Tommy being the reason why. His morbid curiosity is more important than Tommy’s autonomy. We get this right after:

“You owe me your life!”

Again, Dream believes that Tommy is just as obsessed as he is. He does not see Tommy as his own person. He does not understand why Tommy would be upset and ungrateful because he is excited and interested. He lacks any remorse for his actions, and believes that he should be praised. Tommy owes Dream nothing but the blame for his death. This abuse of power makes Tommy realize that he has to kill Dream. Dream accepts this, and Tommy prepares to kill him. As Tommy begins to hit Dream, he realizes that he will be left alone in the prison if he kills Dream. Sam would not visit, so there is truly no way out for Tommy. Here, Tommy notes that being completely isolated would be worse than being dead. After exile, Tommy fears being alone. He knows that at least when he’s dead he has people around him. If he kills Dream, he’ll have nothing.

“I could go and kill Tubbo and bring him back. I could, I could, you know, everyone is my puppet, and I can…” … “You didn’t believe me! I was proving a point!” “You killed me just to prove a point!”

Dream’s dehumanization of people is not limited to Tommy. Dream sees everyone as disposable and controllable. He literally calls everyone his puppet. He killed Tommy to prove a point, which is not something he had to do. Tommy was justifiably upset by this, but Dream disregards it. Dream victim blames Tommy outright here by saying that he absolutely had to be killed. Again, no one was pulling Dream’s leg here. There is not some otherworldly being causing Dream to do this. He beat Tommy to death because he wanted to. He didn’t have to do this. This was a conscious decision he made. He then gaslights Tommy, saying that it isn’t a big deal because he’s alive now, as if he wasn't dead literally twenty minutes before this. Despite Tommy calling Dream out on his behavior, Dream doesn’t care and says that once he gets out, he’ll use the book to his advantage. He’ll bring back Wilbur and have Wilbur help him escape. And so, we’re left with this:

“Promise me you won’t bring back Wilbur.” “I’m bringing back Wilbur.” “Fuck. Fuck.”

And the stream ends there. Within three streams, Tommy has died and been revived. Tommy originally entered the prison to gain closure. He wanted to close the book with Dream. He wanted to focus on his hotel. He wanted to heal. He wanted to move on.

But it’s never that easy, is it?

[mementomori-demimonde]

Reasons why I started to distrust Mambo Marie LeFleur:

Since I’m obsessed with CAOS, I begged my gf @rumpel8​ to watch it a second (actually third or fourth) time with me. We both ship MadamSpellman and although I liked Mambo Marie in the beginning, she hates - hates - her guts (because she gets to be canon with Zelda and Lilith doesn’t), so gf was trying to find anything to make MM look bad, even claiming she was secretly a villain. I laughed, at first, but now I think my gf was right all along.

But let’s start from the beginning:

Mambo Marie is a voodoo witch, and as Zelda says, she’s a Catholic, which means she should be enemies with satanic witches like Prudence, Ambrose and Zelda (and the Coven).

In New Orleans, she helped Prudence and Ambrose with Blackwood, but what if she did that only to gain their trust?

Mambo Marie arrives when the Cover summons the hedge witches and immediately sides with Zelda.

Of course, Zelda is grateful for her assistance. But how did she arrive since she’s not one of the hedge witches? Prudence invited her, but she laters admits she does not know her true intentions.

Hence, what are those reasons and, most of all, what are “her ways?” Zelda is visibly uncomfortable and she gets really upset when she sees Marie performing one of her rituals. Do we actually know that it’s a protection dance, and not some ceremony to steal every bit of magic that is left for herself? Or enter everyone’s minds? Or something bad at all? Prudence keeps defending her, but since when does she talk voodoo?

While Lilith is rejected after asking for asylum and offering her magic/help to serve the Coven (while still being the idol Zelda is devout to, technically), Mambo Marie is accepted and asked to stay rather quickly. What’s different? Well, Marie touches Zelda’s hand while introducing herself.

But what do we know about physycal contact with ill-intentioned beings?

Yes, Zelda was talking about demoniac possession, but maybe it can be applied to other forms of manipulation too. And then, this.

Sketchy. To do what, cherie? Zelda is enthralled, but what is she’s actually talking about slaughter the entire Coven or enslave them (to get revenge for her ancestors taken away from their home during the slave-trade) or something around those lines?

When Zelda is lying on the table after being operated, and they hear the banshee, Mambo Marie knows the three kids don’t have magic/strenght, but urges them to go check while she tends to Zelda. It doesn’t make sense: in case there’s a peril, being the only one with magic among them, it should be Mambo Marie go check.

That gives her the chance to stay with Zelda for the whole time she’s in Limbo. Who said anything about burning purple candles? Who said anything about Limbo at all? Marie. But who tell us Zelda is really in Limbo and not some dream-like-vision created by Mambo? After all, she touches Zelda (stroking her hair, holding he hand) multiple times, and what could be mistaken for signs of affection, could be easily the ways she’s using to mold Zelda’s vision to her own likings. Edward as Mèt-tèt? Satanic witches don’t get guardian angels no matter how you want to call it, what if it’s Marie posing as Edward (Lilith did that too with Sabrina before the wedding with Blackwood), leading her to see the three stages of the moon? Leading her to Hecate?

Now, let’s talk about Hecate.

Aside from the fact that Zelda has clear loyalty issues (praise Satan, praise Lilith, praise Hecate, praise the guy I saw on my newspaper this morning) it’s very unlikely that a goddess would assist the most devout of satanic witches during her whole life.

So if Zelda’s Limbo is Mambo Marie’s doing, perhaps she is trying to become the most powerfool voodoo witch and is looking for adepts? Maybe wants to submit Zelda’s Coven? After all “she get’s her powers from somewhere else”, what if she’s not even voodoo? Is Hecate Mambo Marie in diguise? Is Hecate bad? Is Mambo Marie bad? After all, she was there during Hilda’s resurrection, right behind Zelda (and kept her eyes close for the majority of time).

And then, the revelation, the actual, verified proof. No theories, no suppositions, just the plain fact: in the last episode, how did Blackwood find the twins?

Blackwood’s only goal is to find the egg since he doesn’t sacrifice anyone like he intended to do in Scotland and he wouldn’t be able to find the twins unless he knew they were at the Spellman’s with the egg. But once there, how did he actually find them, how did he know where to look? I bet a dollhouse wouldn’t be his first choice.

The options are two: • there’s a spell that locates people/your lineage/magical beings wherever they are, even though it’s unlikely the dollhouse wasn’t under any concealing or protective charm • somebody told him

But who? Who knows where the twins are? Presumably all the Spellmans [Zelda, Hilda, Sabrina and Ambrose], Prudence and - drum rolls - Mambo Marie.

The Spellmans would never tell Blackwood about the dollhouse (why would they and how, when?), Prudence could’ve said about her siblings to Agatha and Dorcas, and Agatha could’ve told Blackwood after going insane, but that’s unlikely. This only leaves out... Mambo Marie.

Whether she’s got anything to do with Hecate or not, she’s secretly plotting with Blackwood.

Theory: they met in New Orleans and Prudence and Ambrose didn’t find Mambo Marie’s randomly - either she or Blackwood led them directly into her den. Proof they’re plotting together could be MM possibly faking her own death after Zelda wakes up from Limbo cause we don’t actually see Blackwood kill her and the skeleton could be anyone’s dressed with MM’s clothes.

We don’t know what the plans are, but either way, there’s a fact that leaves little to the imagination: the only one left who knows about the twins is, in fact, Mambo Marie. If we assume they are allies, Mambo Marie told him about the twins hidden inside the dollhouse.

And that explains why Lilith and Mambo Marie share screen time during the fourth season: whether for her own reasons or because she’s Hecate (a new goddess claiming supremacy) or another of Blackwood’s lovers seeking revenge, Mambo Marie is evil, Zelda needs to be saved from her and freed from her charms and the only one who can do it, it’s Lilith.

THOUGHTS AFTER THE CAOS PART 4 TRAILER:

Marie is in the Church but several rows behind. I’m kinda grateful cause Zarie is not my cup of tea. It used to be. But now I’m Madam Spellman (/Zelith) for life!

That’s honestly a suspicious coincidence...

Another suspicious coincidence...

Yep. She’s helping...

I honestly like this black sorority of witch-mortal-voodoo witch... But I still don’t trust her. Marie is deceiving everyone and she is evil .

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

If you had access to the early screening, feel free to roast this post.

[iammarylastar]

9. FAREWELL

"So, you're leaving without saying goodbye?"

She said, her voice like a ghost.

Shit.

Cal leaned his hand on the door frame, his forehead followed and he closed his eyes. He could feel Jess trembling behind his back, he could foresee her face soaked in tears, her sobs stuck in her chest.

Shit.

Leaving her was the hardest thing he had ever done, he doubted he could gather the strength to walk out the door, but now she was awake, crying, he knew it would be impossible.

Yet, he had to.

"Chris?" She begged.

He had planned everything, every little detail, like he already had, to break Oyster out.

He got all his stuff ready: a car fueled up, the maps with all the secondary roads highlighted, 4 different options to cross the Canadian border. His backpack, enough military rations to survive for 2 weeks, in case he'd have to ditch the car and cover the distance by foot. A compass. An extra pair of trekking shoes, just in case. Water. Lighter. Headlamp. Emergency kit. US dollars. Canadian dollars.

No phone. 

No pics, not even one of Jessica. He wouldn't risk to get caught and have her involved. Beside it would be too painful to look at her beautiful face. Dealing with her memory would be hard enough.

But he had no choice. More than 3 years he hadn't see his brother. 3 fucking long years he hadn't heard his voice. Teddy, his little brother, the reason he had kept living after their mom died, the one he had fought for. And kept fighting for.

He'd all planned in his head, playing every scenario again and again at night, all those sleepless nights, Jess cuddled against his chest. Looking blankly at the ceiling, on the hunt for what could happen, what could turn wrong, and come what may: keep walking.

Until he reaches Lac-Sainte-Marie, Quebec, 260 miles from here. Until he meets his brother again.

"Chris!" She yelped, like she was drowning.

For a millisecond, he thought he could just give up: forget his little ass of a brother, forget his oath to his mother, forget his responsibilities, drop on his knees and beg Jess to marry him, give her 3 kids, get a pet and live happily ever after. Why not? He deserved a little of happiness, didn't he?

"What is happening?" she whispered, her voice torn by sobs, like stabs in his back.

What the fuck was happening, good question. He was happening. That fucking deceiving Cal was freaking out and ruining everything again. Like it was meant to be.

Like he was meant to screw up every chance of happiness.

"I have to see him. Jess, he got back in touch with me. Those postcards. There must be a reason." He said under his breath, not daring to glance at her.

"Chris, you're still in probation! A single step out of the State and you're in parole violation! You're going to get caught and thrown into jail again!" She knew this argument wouldn't work with him, but she was a lawyer, well almost, she had to plead for her case.

"I know..." Chris whispered. The next words would be excruciating to pronounce.

"That's why I won't come back..."

"Noooo!" She totally broke down.

As he listened to her heart shattering into pieces, taking his own heart down, he couldn't help thinking about time.

It took her days to tame his fears, weeks to heal him for his trauma, months to forge deep, trustful ties between their hearts.

Ties they both thought were unbreakable.

And as it took a heartbeat to fall in love with her, he'd been quick to break her heart.

Now he was running out of time. With her. For Oyster. Fuck.

"At least wait for your probation period to be over! You'll be a free man and you could go wherever you want!" She begged.

Like he didn't know. Like he hadn't spent the last days counting how many days it would take to be reunited. Like he hadn't thought of it from top to bottom. Like he hadn't been obsessed and torn about that fucking choice he had to make.

"Three more years! Jess, I can't leave him alone for 3 more fucking years! He needs me!" He let his anger flow out of his chest.

"What about me????" She thundered, gripping her nightie where her heart ached, then pointing a furious index finger out.

"He's not a kid anymore! He made his choice! You don't owe him anything anymore! When are you going to start thinking about yourself? About us?"

Touché.

Cal wavered at her words. The more she spoke, the more his determination weakened. He had no choice but cling to his same old song.

"I'm his legal guardian, I promised mom I'd take care of him. I can't break my oath. Not again..."

It would have been easier if Chris was the selfish type. But he didn't choose Marine corps and law enforcement by mistake. He was a man of principle, loyal, honest, trustful. A man with Semper Fidelis inked in his flesh forever.

"Chris!!" Jess was burning with rage and desperation. She was fed up with his sempiternal lame excuses.

She would have slapped his face full force if she could have moved, again and again until he got it, but violence never fixed anything, she was dead certain of this.

Chris’ childhood to adulthood, his former job in the Marine corps, his time in jail, his whole damn life had been nothing but violence, he deserved better from her.

She breathed in and out slowly to calm her nerves down and regain control of her thoughts.

Give him what he needs, that's the only way...

"You're strong Chris. You're a good man! Why can't you see it?"

Cal shook his head, tears threatening again behind his lids.

"I failed. I failed to keep my mom alive. I failed to protect my brother. To serve my country... To make you happy. I don't deserve you..."

"When are you going to stop punishing yourself for things, you're not responsible for? Jesus, your mom died, who's to blame? Not you! You struggled to provide for your brother though you were barely an adult, Chris, you did your best! Oyster made some bad choices, his choices, he fucked up but it was not your fault!"

Gone his sweetheart of a girlfriend, he was facing a new, fierce, unstoppable soldier ready for anything for her love.

Anything. Maybe, even ready to throw everything away for him.

Cal slowly extended his hand to a trembling Jess. This gesture was a dangerous step back, he had promised himself not to touch her, not to smell her nor to get too close. No way he could leave this place without her if their hands were linked.

Jess nearly jumped forward to take it, intertwined her fingers so tightly with his, their knuckles turned white. She closed her other hand over their clasped ones, then pulled them against her cheek, nuzzling against the slightest piece of his skin she could.

The contact of her skin against his made him jolt. His plea slipped through his lips before his brain realized their impact.

"Come with me. I hate to put that on you but... Jess, come with me. I don't want to lose you..."

His words were like slaps in her face. Her jaw dropped down and the look she threw at him slapped him back.

Shit.

She thought she had won. She thought he had heard her words. She thought he would stay. Why would he have offered his hand otherwise?

"Wh..? But... Cal, what are you doing?"

"Come with me Jessica. Let's start a new life in Canada. I love you. I love you!"

His turn to wrap his hand around hers and pull her closer, so his gaze pierced hers, his taut body hovering over her. This could fix everything.

Say yes! Say yes! Say yes!!

Jessica froze in shock, her pupils widened. She would have left all she had behind to follow him. The solution was easy: just go with him!

Just go with him, and become an outlaw. Say goodbye to your family, your career, your dreams, your life. On the run forever with the man she loved. With no future but hiding and lying.

"And you saved your first 'I love you' for the day you leave me..." Jess whispered under her breath, defeated. He killed her hope the second before, and kept doing an excellent job to trample on her heart.

Her whole body slumped down; Cal had to tighten his grip on her hands to get her upright.

Her pale complexion and her trembling voice made her look like a ghost.

"No. I can't. You can't... do that. You can't drag me into a runaway and make me a fugitive. I... I'm... My family is here, my career is here, my life is here... with you!

If you really love me, STAY!"

Chris wobbled, his knees weak under him. She was right, he knew it. He was wrong, doing all wrong, as he always had done. Jessica saw her chance in his hesitation, and played her last card. Faithfulness, Chris' obsession.

"That's not what you promised me. Chris, you promised me..." she burst into tears again, clinging onto him like he was a lifeline. Their love was like the Titanic, they thought it beautiful and in submersible, but it was irremediably sinking in the middle of nowhere and will end up broken shipwreck.

Hold on Rose, you have a chance.

Sorry Jack, you're screwed.

Shit.

He promised her, that day he talked his heart out, in the wee hours of a beautiful day, lying in bed, slowly brushing her delicate face with his fingertips. That day he told her about his plans for the future, their future. Openly daydreaming of his will to marry her, build her a house, have kids with her, three he said, if she agreed. Plus, a dog. One day, he promised, when she would graduate and he would have a better job.

He solemnly promised her to make her happy, happy ever after.

"You deserve to be happy, Chris. We've been so happy together. For fuck sake, why couldn't we just be happy?"

Because happiness is not meant for me.

"Jess, I miss him so much... I have no choice."

"There's always a choice... Let me help!" She begged a last time, squeezing his hands even tightly.

Chris closed his eyes, his sigh shaky through his tight throat. Just do it. Say it.

Now.

"No. Not this time... Let me go, Jess, please..." Chris grudgingly untied their fingers but Jess kept gripping at him, his wrists, his arms, his hoodie. He patiently unhooked each of her attempt, gently but firmly holding her wrists together.

It was so hard, Jesus, to see her face, desperate and drowned in tears, to hear a plea, to hurt her so deeply. But it had to be done. Like ripping off a band-aid. Just do it.

"No, no, no, no, Chris, please, nooo!" She begged, she would have given anything, everything to have him think, find another way, change his fucking mind. To have him stay. Choose her.

All her expectations vanished when Cal took her hands in his large palms, bent to kiss them but just leant his forehead on them, shaken by both their sobs and cries. He knew he couldn't leave if his lips touched her skin again. She knew it too.

Slowly, too slowly, he extended his arms until her fists laid on her chest, her fingers writhing in pain, and stepped back. Unable to look a last time in her eyes, Cal turned his heels and grabbed the doorknob.

"What if I'm pregnant?"

He froze, like punched in his guts.

"What?" His world collapsed. He had all the scenarios figured out, even the worst, but not this one.

He had made love to her earlier that night, knowing it'd be the last time. He made it last long, savoring each second with her, kissing each piece of her body, learning each of her curves by heart with his fingertips. He made it sensual, passionate, beautiful. He had given her all, all of him.

He had laid on his back for hours, his love cuddled on his side, her arms around his chest, like to keep him from running away. Like she felt it.

He had stayed like this forever, staring at the ceiling, listening to her deep breathing, feeling her, smelling her, until he was drunk from her.

"I said, what if I'm pregnant." She stated again, interrupting his thoughts.

"Are you?" He blankly asked.

She might be. From tonight.

She could be. They've been careless for a couple of weeks, their desire so strong they skipped to put a condom on. They both silently agreed, since they had a talk about it: they wanted to spend their lives together and grow a family, one day or another...

Jess had tried the pill, but it hadn't fit her. She tried 3 different brands but every time something went wrong. Cal hated seeing her with cramps or moody and IUD was a big no no due to her young age, so he decided to take the responsibility of the birth control, and simply pulled out at the right time.

Which was, according to Jess, like a firework without the final. Several times, half of the time in fact, she trapped Cal between her legs so he came inside of her. She found it so sexy and powerful.

Sexy but likely give rise to a baby.

Their baby. His.

"You won't stay for me. Would you stay for your child?"

Bitch. She knew how push his button, where it hurt the most. Given what he was doing to her, it was fair.

His guts twisted painfully and nausea invaded his throat at the thought. His deepest nightmare resurfaced: a kid with no father to take care of them, ruffle their hair, tickle them until they're breathless from laughing, play football with them, hug them tight when they're scared or sad. A kid with no dad to love them. A kid like he'd been, grown up before his childhood even had started.

A missing father. That was what he would become if he left now. The worst of the worst. A man he promised himself to never be. Fucking never hurt someone like he'd been hurt.

He unsuccessfully was trying to clear his mind from sadness and anger to redo his math and remember when was her last period. Calculate the odds of a pregnancy. Rate his chance to stay.

Zero.

He sucked. He wasn’t worth anything.

Maybe living was the best he could do to save this child from himself. He was no better father than his own, unable to make a good decision.

Chris dropped his head, his hands tightened in fists, his eyes closed in a frown. He stopped breathing for a long time, until he made his decision.

"I'm sorry." He muttered, grabbing the doorknob.

That was it. She couldn't go, he couldn't stay. I guess that's just the way the story goes.

Such a waste.

Chris pushed the door open, wiped his tears with his sleeve and walked out, without a last glance at her.

[malreginamills]

My Take OUAT Villains Part 1

Regina - An intimidating personality with softer side and capability of empathy and selflessness . She was a fine mom before Henry started to see that she was a mean boss of the town . Then she became more strict with him BUT when fairytale stuff came to play , she became a  bad parent and she almost became her mom when her magic returned before she realised that she has done too much evil  .  He was not a good son either . As EQ , she was a  feared villain with max body count ONSCREEN not OFFSCREEN . I assume that there may be only few who outdid her .  She has a life full of crap and is a pawn of others all the time before she  came back to being a hero . She is a better hero than Emma and as good as Snowing .  She is only villain who used to be a hero .Regina as a hero is even more dangerous adversary than EQ . Unlike other villains , she and Rumple did true to resist temptation for evil  until Rumple himself made things worse . As a villain , she is delusional . She is  the most scary of them all but there can be villains as bad as her or WORSE  . She has crossed many lines BUT if there are some lines she won’t cross . I doubt she would like to have a child with David to piss Snow .

Rumple - A complicated guy whose favorite passtime is creating villains out of his students . He was a coward BUT he was also a father . He is incredibly selfish and makes big plans  when he can achieve his goal by smaller plans as well , a trait also seen in his students . He was a teacher of Regina for a longer time and made sure of the fact that she became a monster . WEmmaonce said about WRumple that he may be razing villages so , it is safe to say WRumple did stuff like that in the past since I doubt he would be razing villages in lockup  for 30 years . If WRumple did that so , it means real Rumple also did it . I doubt Rumple raped people BUT he  tricked them  . I think he stopped mass murder when  Belle was around but continued with being a trickster  and mastermind . He was relatively saner than Regina sometimes since he used brains more than she did as a villain . As a hero Regina was the saner one .  I think that Charmings were too nice to him in S2 and too mean to Regina in S2 . In S4 , they were really nasty to him BUT they were not heroes nor villains that season . He became likeable in S6B AND S7 . He did have lesser pain than Regina since spinsters were actually  nice guardians  to him and he was not always that much troubled  and tortured

Cora- Deliciously evil woman who cares for her daughter BUT her morals warped with Rumple's shadiness is what  is really what turned Regina evil . She made her daughter's life way worse than hers and Rumple's . She scared the hell out of me BUT I was sad when she died . UW Cora was more likeable .  I remember her as a redeemed villain than a hero.  She was more cunning than Regina and as cunning than Rumple . If she lived longer than Rumple , she would have been worse .  Also S3 shows her daughter Regina as her own antihesis .  She is literally heartless and sees love as weakness . Voldemort anyone ?

Hook - He was fine in S2 and WHook was likeable in S7 BUT from S3-7 , org Hook was all about Emma and CS . He lived longer than Regina , Cora and Zelena so , he should be as bad or worse BUT they whitewashed him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH that even Snow's half heart had more darkness than that in S3 and in S6 . He himself talked about destroying villages in his song  and it shows that he is as bad as the Mills ladies . He likely was into rape and he had many one night stands that even Regina would be aghast .  Also his revenge is not justified or reasonable and it makes Cora look justified in hating Eva and Regina reasonable for hating Snow. It was he who separated Rumple and Milah and then in S5-6 he acted that Rumple was worse . Regina had really good reason to loathe Rumple  yet it never looked like that she was in mood to dance on his grave since she believed that life is precious .  He was also a homewrecker .  I think that he is worse than Rumple and can be as bad as Cora . His DO self showed us his true evilness . At least Regina would be trying to restrain herself from all that  DOness .   He did not take time to become a  full fledged villain as compared to Regina , Cora  and  Rumple .  It took him seconds to do that .  He was definitely done dirty in later seasons . I still love HOOK’ s past self more . 

Greg and Tamara - WHY ? They are foreigners  . They do not make sense to me  . Other villains have done way more evil  than they can dream of though they were almost  about to commit mass murder  BUT they are delusional .

Pan - IDK how many he killed, how much evil he did  BUT apparently , he  must have done a lot of that . Even Hook finds him demonaic and treacherous (although he did the same for Rumple ) . He was more twisted than all the others  mentioned before .  He utterly lacks any decency . He seems to be vain , self seeking  , power hungry  , immortality loving , uncaring , callous person  . If he succeeded , even Cora and Hook would  look  tame and humane .He is a  narcissist . Its like Disney Mother Gothel , Disney Ursula and our  Rumple together as one person . He was not only an evil power seeking overlord like Rumple and Cora but also he  was sick  and awful . He was both terrifying and terrible .  It was the best  culmination of fairytale evil with real life evil .

 Zelena - She makes me like Pan sometimes . At least Pan , Cora , Regina , Rumple and Hook did not start the system of brands . According to her  villainy needs to be branded like footwear and clothes . She  is  awfully competitive. In fandom she aroused a need of debating on who is more powerful . Every time she boasts  about being more powerful , she needs to be punched on her face . OMG Regina literally did that .  She branded herself as wicked and branded her sister as evil . She  does not terrify me BUT she is perhaps the most devious one of all . For someone who has undergone pain , she sounds like a spoilt brat  who whines like all the time . Everytime Regina is tired of her life problems , it looks like that she is in pain . In S2  Regina did a lot of whinning BUT she did not sound like this  sick brat . Regina did seem like someone who has undergone a lot of crap  .  I think that Zelena as a spoilt princess of Oz who was pissed about her true heritage  and ditched her adoptive family and killed them would make more sense and would do justice to her S3-5A personality . In 5B-7 , her softer side was apparently a bit forced and so was her new relationship with Regina but it was more true to her backstory  and her S3-5A self BUT it was like having Regina in earlier seasons back sometimes .  Her  WWW wardrobe should beas good as EQ’s . She should also have more hairstyles as WWW . I think that Zelena is also arrogant and narcissistic as compared to anyone else . She is incredibly self obsessed .   Regina was a mass murderer and rapist  . Rumple was self serving , selfish and power hungry  magic addict . Hook was a s*x addict  and a mass murderer   . Cora was a power loving mass murderer and a heartless .  Pan was relatively less self obsessed .  Quite many seem to come from a sadder place BUT she looks life she came from a posh life . Even young Snow and young Eva were not that bratty even though they are actual brats . Her rape of Robin to have a child with him to piss Regina shows how twisted she is . She also feels like an awkward addition since   she has never said the iconic villainous line , “LOVE IS WEAKNESS .”  She tries to outdo REGINA so , she must have tried to be more evil  and she must have killed even more since she is like Regina killed 1 guy , I would kill 10 . 

Ingrid - A short term villain but she was basically another Regina . She was also xenophobic towards muggles due to her bad experiences but later , she came to her senses . She was an unintentional succcessful attempt at making another  EQ and Cora . I wish she stayed longer . We also got a dark Elsa . Her subtelty  was awesome  . She was basically my fav beside Rumple , Regina and Cora .  I still wish if Regina was one of the people she wanted as a sister along with Emma since I do not want  Emma to be left behind either . She is way better than Zelena . I think she should be nicer to memory of Helga at least . 

Maleficent - We heard things about her more than we actually saw her do stuff .  Since Regina has more  some traits of Org Maleficent than her .  Kristen did a fine job with her and did make her scary in the way Mitchel made Ingrid scary . BUT I never saw her interrupting gatherings . Regina did that one .  I never saw her  plotting and being cruel . I never got the mistress of Evil . I never saw the woman she really was  when it came to Briar Rose. What was her foul temper like ? She was redeemed quickly .  I think I was better off with one redeemed Maleficent and now there were 2 of them  .  I wanted her evil at larger scale .  Maleficent did show some wickedness in S4 and it was awesome  BUT I think I preferred REGINA , CORA , HOOK , RUMPLE  , INGRID and even ZELENA level villainy  . Maleficent , these are the experts  .   Maleficent was  more a victim than a villain . Most of others were both . She may be a fine chracter BUT she was a poor villain . 

Ursula - Don’t ask . She hardly came in before she went away . 

Cruella- This is a good villain . Only born EVIL person besides Pan before 6*19 came up . She is better than Zelena and Maleficent  combined . I would love to see Cruella at her worst . I think this character demanded to be explored more .  She does not have standards at all . She tries her best to be the evilest  and can succeed . No wonder Issac had to stop her .  We can only imagine that her villainy would be the worst of worst . 

Issac - He is soo sick and awful . Can’t say anything more . He is rebirth of Greg and Tamara who are just meh . 

Dark Swan - What is this monstrosity ? I would prefer Zelena  and Maleficent over this . Apparently , I think “Black Swan” would be better  than what this name is  . And also , we all hoped that Emma would dabble into some Cora , Rumple , Regina , Past HOOK and Ingrid level EVIL and have a maniacal laugh .  We may have had EQ back . It would be good to see Snowing’s faces when Emma becomes New EQ . We wanted mental issues , rage problems , broken heart , betrayal problems , trust issues , past issues  driving her mad . Trying to convince WickedGoldenHookedQueen to join her in her delicious rampage with only Zelena joining her . Zelena the brat and Black Swan a psycho  teaming up  . BUT instead we got an unhealthily obsessed woman who got Robin Hood killed unintentionally . SHE MADE DARK HOOK .  She caused mayhem in Camelot and Storybrooke just because of Hook ? If it was really her , she would have let Hook die instead of making him DO .And after she stops being Dark Swan ,she drags her family to UW ? What is this ? High level character assasination . OH WAIT , Emma’s potential for darkness , her capacity to be Evil lies with Lily . Why they made her Darknessless . It makes sense that she is not that evil  . I think this should be resolved .  In my headcannon , she got the potential for evil back when she was sent to WR since In WR Cruella never left  so ,  WR Maleficent never lost Lily so , WR Emma still has darkness . If they continuede , we could have had Evil Emma back . For now , Dark Swan is terrible , not terrifying . I find her name Emma ironical now since she is not whole .

[nowhereclosetoit]

Pippa and Theo’s Relationship in “The Goldfinch”

(Or: Why Theo believes he’s in love with Pippa when he’s not)

I really enjoyed writing my last shitshow of an essay so now here’s another overly long essay on Theo and His Issues in “The Goldfinch”.

It’s 3,000 words so...good luck!

Pippa and Theo have a close bond, there’s no doubt about that, however, Theo misconstrues this bond in his head. He ends up perceiving the bond he shares with Pippa, on his end at least, for that of romantic love. Interestingly enough, this is not the case – Theo is not in love with Pippa, despite his belief, and Pippa herself understands this too.

One reason as to why Theo may be mistaking their close relationship (even though it’s never that close really) for romantic love is because of the similarities in each of their childhoods. There are many parallels that can be drawn between each of their childhoods, ranging from the death of a parent or guardian to their shared traumatic experience of the museum bombing.

Pippa’s mother, like Theo’s, is dead, as well as her legal guardian Welty (her uncle), who died in the museum bombing - Already they have some common ground through this which is the only established knowledge they have of each other on their first interaction in Hobie’s flat.

Pippa also stays with an adult (Hobie) who genuinely tries his best to take care of her until, right when things start looking up, another, estranged family member shows up to take her away from New York (Her Aunt Margaret who subsequently takes Pippa to Texas, then sending her to the school in Switzerland for “troubled girls”). This reflects the way that Theo was taken away from the Barbours by his father and Xandra to go and live in Las Vegas.

They are both also physically and/or emotionally abused and scarred from this event:

Theo, through his dad (and Xandra) who neglected him and also physically abused him.

Pippa through her Aunt emotionally manipulating her to make her stay at Institut Mont-Haefeli, and the school themselves for not having her best interests at heart.

In the film, Pippa states whilst at a restaurant after seeing a Glen Gould documentary, that “Welty was only with me that day because I was making him take me to an audition”, depicting her guilt – still as an adult – over the death of her uncle.

Theo makes it clear many times throughout the novel and the film how he feels it was his fault his mother died. (If you want an example check the excerpt above.)

How did they deal with it? Why is this significant in understanding their relationship?

Pippa’s grief manifested itself through her physical injuries which had lifelong lasting effects. Her injuries were extremely severe, reflecting the severity of her grief and guilt. (Hobie in Chapter 4 – Morphine Lollypop: “She’s had a bad crack on the head, a skull fracture, to tell you the truth she was in a coma for a while and her left leg was broken in so many pieces she came near to losing it. ‘Marbles in a sock,’ ” he said, with a mirthless laugh. “That’s what the doctor said when he looked at the x-ray. Twelve breaks. Five surgeries. ”)

Contrastingly, Theo was not as physically affected and internalised everything he felt. This illustrates itself through his lack of eating and sleeping due to his dreams that were plagued with nightmares of the day and his loss of his mother (firstly at the Barbours and also depicted in Vegas) and eventual demise into alcoholism and drug addiction (Vegas + the rest of his life dude’s fuckin popping pills – or crushing the pills then snorting them, I guess).

How Pippa and Theo’s grief manifested itself is significant as it foreshadows the later scenes in the narrative and how they each cope once they’re adults and should no longer be grieving. (I say should no longer be grieving as it’s clear that Theo only really lets go of his grief and guilt once his mother visits him in his dream in Amsterdam after the murder - in the book anyway.) By physically showing her grief to the world – by choice or not – Pippa illustrates a healthier way to deal with grief and negative feelings – getting it out there and receiving help. This also allows us to understand, whilst Pippa also never fully recovers too – See: her crying in the restaurant over the Glen Gould documentary - that she was able to deal with it significantly better than Theo did. She even manages to have a somewhat normal and healthy lifestyle as an adult. As we’ve already discussed, Theo’s grief internalised itself as depicted through his physical injuries/symptoms, or lack thereof. Theo chose, though whether he solely can be fully to blame for this, to internalise his grief and guilt through taking drugs and drinking alcohol. (I personally believe he isn’t fully to blame for ending up addicted to drugs because anybody who cared or was supposed to care about him offered him some form of drug or medication and said it would solve his problems, See: Mrs Barbour – sleeping pills, Xandra and Larry – pills for the plane, Boris – literally any drug they did together over the course of the novel.)

Mini Conclusion (for this part): The ways grief was expressed and dealt/not dealt with by Pippa and Theo explains why they behave the way they do, e.g: Theo internalises everything and never deals with anything fully or properly, Pippa on the other hand is better at reacting to things like an actual person as she was able to deal with her grief and guilt.

Why does Theo believe he is in love with Pippa?

I believe that there are four (4) main reasons as to why Theo mistakes his feelings towards Pippa as romantic love.

1. Pippa is the only remaining link Theo has, bar The Goldfinch, to his mother and before the bombing. He desperately wants to return to before the bombing happened - before his mother was killed. Theo met Pippa only moments before the bombing happened which irrevocably links her to Theo’s “Before: When life was perfect and beautiful” view of his life. This is explored, albeit briefly, in the following excerpts:

With Pippa being depicted in the same way as Theo’s mother, we get the sense that Theo associates her, unconsciously, with his mother, and, consequentially, sees her as a link to his mother, thus feeling no romantic love towards her in anyway.

An example of parallels between Audrey and Pippa is through how both of them had to go and live with an Aunt, with whom they did not have an enjoyable time with, in the South. 

Chapter 4 - Morphine Lollypop: Theo was thinking about “my mother after her parents died and she had to go live with her aunt Bess, + the mention of horses in this excerpt and how "the horses [were] sold”.

2. Theo also links Pippa with helping lessen his grief.

E.g: Soon after he first visits Hobie and Pippa, his appetite starts to return,

Theo relates Pippa to easing his feelings of anxiety:

With Pippa helping Theo ease his grief, whether realised or not, she becomes a caring figure for him, this could relate to a motherly sense of caring – which the novel could suggest so with my previous point, but hey, maybe I’m grasping at straws, idk.

3. Theo’s personality is obsessive and all-consuming which is depicted through literally any relationship he has had with anything and anyone for any considerable amount of time within the novel. 

This is depicted through the obsessive amounts he is able to recount about people and the minute detail in which he does so.

It can also be shown through the act of the years’ worth of letters he wrote to his mother after she died, as well as his relationship with The Goldfinch (obsessed with keeping it as it had a link to his mother and his heart etc).

4. (Again, maybe I’m grasping at straws here) He could be mistaking his love for Pippa as romantic as a result of compulsory heterosexuality (Once again, I’m using compulsory heterosexuality in this case as an LGBTQ+ individual feeling that they have to have romantic feelings/relations to people of the opposite gender/sex, and subconsciously forcing themselves to do so - due to the heteronormative society we live in). This can be found within his romantic relationships with women never fulfilling him and his constant depiction of them as cold (See: Kitsey quotes earlier in essay compared to the way he describes Boris in general) + We all know this motherfucker is queer af, if you don’t believe me check my essay out ;)

In conclusion, I feel like Pippa is able to realise that she is not in love with Theo/differentiate the love they have between them from that of romantic love as she is more aware of her issues and has dealt with them more than Theo has. Pippa managed to remove herself completely from a situation that was causing her pain (New York) and is able to see more clearly from doing so, whereas Theo didn’t. Theo was unable to remove himself mentally or physically and is stuck in the perpetual grief he feels for his mother’s death. The only time we get some sense of closure and complete removal of grief from Theo is after Amsterdam. (In the book this is after the dream he has where he can finally face his mother, and in the film, this is once Boris tells him that “[his] bird is back in the world”). Due to Theo being unable to fully receive any sort of ability to even attempt solving his problems, his judgment is clouded and he believes he is in love with Pippa.

[regeek]

Essay of the North: Dragons, Masks, Ghosts, and Despair

Welcome to the next part of my essay about the Four Sister guardians. This one actually focuses on the sister guardians as individual characters. The thing that first drew me to these four characters as a subject matter is how thematically relevant they are to each book. In my opinion, each of the four books in the third Deltora Quest series has a central theme: in Dragon’s Nest it is dragons, in Shadowgate it is masks, in Isle of the Dead it is ghosts, and in Sister of the South it’s despair. Each of the guardians does a lot to tie these themes together, and each can be seen as sort of an embodiment of that theme, at least of the darker aspects of it. Another interesting thing that ties each of the sister guardians together is that each is a reference to another character in mythology or fiction, so I’ll talk about that here. The guardians are all beings of decay and subversion, so each is a subversion of some classical cultural archetype. Each of these characters, by being so thematically significant, help set apart the third series of Deltora books as a more powerful, resonant story than most youth fantasy stories. 

First let’s start with Rolf the Capricorn. He is the antagonist of Dragon’s Nest, the start of the series. The main theme of Dragon’s Nest is the dragons themselves, and the crux of the story is Lief struggling with understanding these ferocious and powerful creatures. At the start of the story few in Deltora understood the dragons and their role in the ecosystem, so Lief has to learn if he can trust them as he embarks on a quest where they play an integral role. The dragons represent the harsh but important aspects of the natural world. From a distance they seem like dangerous monsters, but are actually vital parts of the environment in Deltora and must be respected. Although people fear them, they are actually keeping Deltora safe and balanced. The first test Lief faces in this series is reconnecting with the dragons and earning their trust.

Rolf is the embodiment of distrust and fear of dragons. Like the dragons, he is the remnant of a long-gone part of Deltora’s history, but not a part that should be brought back. His people are the biggest victims of the dragon’s rage, an entire society laid to waste by their fury. However, the fate of Capra is not what it seemed. In actuality the Capricorns were driving the dragons to extinction, and their obsession with beauty and artifice led to their destruction. They are a warning to the people of Deltora, an example of what will happen if they do not coexist with nature. But Rolf has nothing but resentment for dragon’s and all they represent. He has no interest in the modern state of Deltora, obsessed with a past that will never come back. He is deeply xenophobic, not just towards dragons but to all non-Capricorns. He would rather see the nation destroyed than integrate with it, helping the Shadow Lord doom Deltora to the same fate as Capra.

 Fittingly, he takes the form of a false dragon. His appearance is described as hideous, like something our of a fever dream. He represents everything people feared about dragons, with none of their natural beauty. He seeks to exploit people’s reservations about working with dragons, making Lief question whether he can count these mysterious beasts as allies in his quest. His ultimate goal was to make it appear that the Ruby Dragon had joined the Shadow Lord as the guardian of the Sister of the East. Every step of the Shadow Lord’s plan with the Sisters was to convince the King of Deltora to abandon his quest. In this case to stop the quest before it even started, he cast doubt on the ability to work with the dragons at all. Rolf’s role in the plan was to drive Lief to abandon Deltora to the same fate that befell Capra. 

Rolf is obviously based on a satyr form Greek mythology. He can be seen as a dark mirror to Pan, the greek god of nature. Pan was a being of music and sexuality, an amusing contrast to Rolf’s cowardly, pathetic persona. Over time Pan came to be associated with Pagan and Satanic beliefs, fitting given that Rolf is not what he appears to be. Rolf can also be seen as a parody of Mr. Tumnus from the Chronicles of Narnia. Mr. Tumnus was a faun encountered very early by the protagonists, and was a helpful guide for them. Lief and his companions also encounter Rolf pretty early in their adventure, but he is far from helpful. Although Rolf bears a physical resemblance to various goat-men throughout history, his personality and goals are the opposite of almost all of them.

The next guardian is Kirsten of Shadowgate, also known as the Masked One. Masks are the central motif of Shadowgate, with various types of masks being used by different characters for different reasons. Masks are used to hide your real identity with a new one of your own creation. The Masked Ones use their masks to turn on their old identities and create a new one for their new society. Laughing Jack can be thought of as wearing a mask in the form of his fake persona. Lief struggles with having masks placed on him against his will, overriding his own identity. Lief is shown for the first time a possible other life, one without the responsibilities and hardship of being the king, but with nor personal freedom. 

It starts off with his physical resemblance to Bede, which drives Bess to force him to take the place of her son. At first Bess’s projection of Lief begins simple enough, making him learn to sing like her son did. Lief is too kind to turn her down, and finds himself being drawn deeper and deeper into the Masked Ones. This culminates in him having a mask literally forced onto his face, and he has to tear it off to regain his own identity. The result is a horrifying experience for him in which he briefly loses his mind, and ends with him scarring his face. These scars are a reminder of his experience, and also serve as a permanent physical distinction between him and Bede. 

The book is structured to make you think Bede is going to be the antagonist, serving as a dark reflection of Lief. However, Bede is revealed to be a victim of the real villain, Kirsten. A character barely mentioned earlier, who nobody in the story thinks very much about, is the one behind everything. Kirsten is interesting among Deltora antagonists in that she begins affecting the plot very early on. Long before the heroes find her or even know of her existence she is pulling strings to drive the plot. The obstacle Lief must destroy in this story is not a reflection of his own identity, but someone who has removed their own identity completely. There are many masks in Shadowgate, but none as elaborate as Kirsten’s. 

From what we know of Kirsten’s past, it sounds like she spent a lot of life being overlooked by others. Despite being beautiful, her face was paid attention to, so she created a new one. However, Kirsten is different from the rest of the characters in that both of her identities are “masks” and in her double life both of her personas are artificial. Her phantom is the embodiment of her allegiance to the Shadow Lord, a mask that moves on its own. The Masked One is a projection of her power and rage without having to reveal her true self to anyone. Her victims get no insight into the person killing them. She twists the culture of the man who rejected her, taking the form of a mask with nothing beneath it. But the version of Kirsten Lief and the others meet in the castle is also a “mask.” Its how she sees herself and wishes to be seen by others, but is just as fake as her phantom. Her external beauty disguises her horrific nature, and she forces Bede to live in her pretend reality with her. Her castle is an extension of this illusive reality, a world under her control that disappears upon her death. Appropriately she has reduced the other object of her rage, he sister, to nothing but a face by trapping her in a locket. Mariette no longer has a physical presence in the world, but still has all the things Kirsten will never have. 

It is hard to look at Shadowgate and not see the influence of the Phantom of the Opera. The Masked One bears a physical resemblance to the Phantom, and murders performers to keep imprisoned a beautiful singer. Kirsten is a twist on character of Erik, wearing the physical appearance of Christine but performing the horrific action of the Phantom. Piecing together her identity is a key part of the plot, though the protagonists do not realize there even is a mystery until the end. The Masked One does not hide the image of a face burned by acid, but that of a beautiful women. Amusingly, Lief’s journey in this novel can be compared to Christine’s. Like her he is tutored in signing by a charismatic but untrustworthy figure in a mask, and he ends up with facial scarring like Erik. Also, while singing is used in Phantom of the Opera to communicate and empathize with the Phantom, in Shadowgate it is used to transmit coded warnings about the villain.

Isle of the Dead is about ghosts, the various ways in which the dead and action of the past still haunt us in the present. The most literal example of the ghosts of the past is Verity, and actual ghost keeping record of dark deeds past. Laughing Jack is on the run from the ghosts of his past, literally and figuratively. He can even be thought of as the “ghost” of James Gant, an identity left behind by a man who still wanders the world in search of something. Bone Point and the Lady Luck are places forever haunted by the dark memories of what happened there, showing Lief and the others a recording of it they cannot interact with. Lief and Barda free themselves from the Lady Luck by “correcting” the events of the past, and their battle with the Sister of the West requires they put together various other ghosts, like Verity’s memories, Doran the Dragonlover, and the Diamond Dragon. 

In Isle of the Dead time is portrayed as all-consuming and unforgiving, and the effect of entropy on this story makes the protagonists feel like they are becoming ghosts too. The Sleeping Dunes show how a moment of passivity can lead to you being erased from history and forgotten, like the Amethyst Dragon was for years. Blood Lily Island shows how the passage of time can slowly destroy you. The island looks harmless but it slowly kills you without you even noticing (Rodda thought she could slip a little metaphor for despair past me here too- not on my watch!) Even the mighty dragons are shown to be vulnerable to the power of eternity, with Veritas being trapped by the Sleeping Dunes and the Diamond Dragon being stripped to bones by fleshbanes, which grew to great numbers during her sleep. The Lady Luck shows how you can’t escape the past or the passage of time. Its’ victims were doomed to eventually lose more than they can afford, and its pursuit of Lief and Jack makes them literally unable to run from the past forever. Isle of the Dead is a book concerned with eternity, how the passage of time destroys but also preserves people and ideas.

Doran is not quite a ghost as he is more undying than undead. He has guided Lief and the others through most of their adventures, and the memory of his actions is a great tool for them. However, each time they encounter someone who remembers Doran, they explain that he is long dead and the world he live din has changed. But Doran has been here the whole time, a final taunt from the Shadow Lord. In order to complete his life’s work, he must be destroyed by those he inspired. Doran’s actions are great allies to the king of Deltora, but the man himself is turned into an obstacle. The purpose of this design was to discourage anyone trying to destroy the Sisters, making them feel like they had to destroy their own history and what they hold dear. 

But there is another “ghost” which provides Lief the opportunity to triumph over this challenge: the baby Diamond Dragon. Named after her mother, she shows how the legacy of the past is transferred down to new generations. Discovered on her mother’s bones, she is a glimmer of hope in a quest that seemed doomed. She shows that even as the heroes and icons of the past fades away, their legacy lives on in new generations. Just as Forta carries on the legacy of the Diamond Dragons, Lief carries on the work of Doran. The discovery of Forta allows Lief to beat the Shadow Lord’s trap. Doran’s last moments are of hope, not despair. He was meant to create depression about the past, but his death is a moment of hope for the future. 

The revelation of Doran as the guardian of the Sister of the West is a shocking one, a twist on the usual pattern of these books having a battle with a big creature at the end. But those familiar with Arthurian lore perhaps should have seen it coming. Doran is an example of the Fisher King archetype. Many versions of the Fisher King appear in the tales of King Arthur, and many modern fantasy tales that follow the structure of those stories use a similar character. The Knight of the Grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is an example, and Azor performs a similar role in the Ixalan story for Magic: The Gathering. The Fisher King is the final guardian of the Holy Grail, a spiritual and mental challenge after a gauntlet of physical one. The Fisher King is a king who possesses the Holy Grail, but has been cursed by the eternal life it provides. The Fisher King is kept in an immortal but crippled state, forced to watch the land around him with as he lacks the strength to protect it. To retrieve the Grail Percival must let the Fisher King pass away and rest by proving he can protect his kingdom for future generations. Lief does a similar thing by revealing Forta to Doran and letting him finally rest knowing their is hope for the future of Deltora. 

Sister of the South is a story about despair, a theme that has been running through the previous novels but takes center stage at the end. Lief’s journey in series three has slowly been eroding his faith that he can protect Deltora and be a good king. The final Sister is the ultimate challenge to his confidence, and the final phase of the Shadow Lord’s plan is to make his believe there is no way he can win. The endgame is to create a scenario where the land is condemned to die one way or the other. But to build up to that dilemma is a series of challenges to Lief’s optimism, both in his belief that Deltora can be saved and whether it even should. The Shadow Lord does this by guarding the last Sister with an embodiment of Deltora itself, manifesting the cultural flaws of the land into a plot to destroy the kingdom from within. 

How fitting it is that after battling all sorts of hideous monsters, the last battle for the fate of Deltora is against a common citizen. The story of Deltora began when the Shadow Lord exploited the societal weaknesses of the city of Del to seize power, and the climax involves history repeating itself, raising the question if Deltora will ever be strong enough to oppose the Shadow Lord. Paff is the ultimate test of Lief’s abilities as king, challenging him not as an adventurer but as a politician. She turns the citizens of Del into her own weapon, presenting them with a threat their king cannot protect him from and drives them to seek shelter in paranoia and ethnic tension. Lief is forced to question his abilities as king when that question is being posed by his own citizens. And of course Paff herself is a citizen of Deltora too, representing all of Lief’s failures in a single person.

Paff is such a tragic figure because, even though her crimes were horrific, it’s easy to understand what drove her to the Shadow Lord. Nobody, absolutely nobody, treats her with kindness or respect. She was alone and unloved. Lief rescued her from the Shadowlands, but never gave her a feeling of freedom. Yet he never suspected anything was amiss with her, unaware that a deadly enemy was hiding in plain sight. Lief was unable to help Paff but also unable to understand her, never imagining that she was capable of such horrors. Of course, Lief never imagined ANY of his citizens were capable of creating the fake plague, and realizing that it must have been done by one of his subjects but not realizing who it could be was agonizing for him. Paff created a wave of despair within him by forcing him to wonder which of his subjects was a traitor, and that any of his allies could be his enemy. Her plan involved destroying the trust of the people of Deltora in each other, in their king, and of the king and his people. 

The end result of Paff’s machinations is Lief’s lowest point. As he encounters the Sister of the South he realizes he is no different from his enemies. He could have gone down the same path they did, and is tempted to do so at the end. He is as imperfect as the rest of Deltora, and in order to save the country he must destroy one of its citizens. Let Lief’s empathy gives him strength. Even after all Paff has done, Lief still has pity for her. Realizing how similar they were let him understand her pain, and he gave her an opportunity to atone, even after all she did. Yet the Shadow Lord revealed himself unwilling to provide such mercy, taking Paff’s powers and throwing her aside like a used tool. Paff had given too far into despair by this point, and rather than be redeemed she destroyed herself with the greatest symbol of the country she betrayed. 

Before we talk about the cultural references baked into Paff’s character, I’d like to talk for a moment about the creature she controlled, as it is pretty unique among Deltora monsters. Like the Masked One, it is an extension of Paff’s power, its horrific appearance and strength contrasting the unassuming, harmless appearance of its controller. It is a creature of black oil, its lack of shape representing the hidden, insidious threat to the kingdom. It can attack several people at once in all directions, representing how Paff’s plot endangered every level of Deltoran society. The two heads are an unusual feature, unlike anything else in Deltora’s bestiary. The heads being a dog and a bird lack any biological purpose, suggesting that its appearance is more about symbolism than biology. As strange and varied as Deltora’s monsters are, all of their appearances served some sort of purpose. The creature Paff summons feels more like something from ancient myth or religion, not something that belongs in the natural world. It brings to mind the two-faced Roman god Janus, or the cherubim, and angel with the heads of a man, an ox, and eagle, and a lion. 

The more mythical appearance of Paff’s creature got me thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the cultural icon Paff references is the last book of the Christian Bible. The Book of Revelations, also known as the Book of Apocalypse, is a complex and confusing part of the Bible, so I’m going to tread lightly here. The book presents a vision of the end of the world, with human society being destroyed and the people of earth being judged by God. Appropriately, the Sister of the South features an apocalyptic scenario with the grey tide, a final judgment for Lief and the people of Deltora. More specifically the Book of Revelation describes two beasts that bring down human civilization, which I think are inspirations for Paff and her creature. The first beast is a huge monster made up of different animal parts, like Paff’s creation. It caused people to follow it, like how the people followed Paff’s propaganda about the plague. The second beast is a false prophet, which “breathed life” into the image of the first beast, and brought death to those who would not worship it. Paff herself is clearly a parallel to the second beast. Yet like all the other guardians, the story that Paff references is subverted by her. The Shadow Lord’s plan is based on an apocalyptic story he participated in, and he seeks to put the people of Deltora in the same position with the Grey Tide. The first beast was described as a seven headed dragon, yet it is seven dragons that save Deltora, rather than destroy it. Fittingly, unlike in Revelations the land of Deltora is not destroyed, and Paff fails to overthrow society. The “prophecy” the Shadow Lord created does not come to pass, and the despair his plan weaponized is defeated by hope. The story ends on an optimistic note detailing a long era of peace and tranquility. 

These four characters are twisted and sad people, sympathetic yet dangerous. They are representatives of the failures of Deltora, tools for the Shadow Lord to destroy the kingdom from within. Lief’s journey to destroy the Four Sisters is about him coming to terms with the weaknesses in himself and his kingdom. Every step of the way he is shown that he cannot save the kingdom without destroying parts of it. Each of these characters are examples of what Lief could become, and he has prove himself different from them in order to succeed. As Lief battles them externally he is forced into an internal battle, one that has been building up over the course of the series. That will lead us to the next essay, about Lief’s psychology and why the Four Sisters quest is such a difficult and personal one for him. 

[crimefightingspiderguy]

love bug

Part III to the series, i want you to want me.

Summary: An introduction to Peter and (Y/N)’s school life. 

Warnings: I guess spoilers for Spider-Man: Homecoming? But if you haven’t seen that yet, get to it hop along. 

Pairings: Peter Parker x best friend!reader

Word count: 1,735

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The next morning you met Peter at the bus stop in between both of your apartments, like you’ve done everyday since your guardians trusted you to go to school without them. You carried the Mantecados, which were still fresh smelling and making your mouth water. Peter carried the poster board, having taken it back to his place to study his part of the public speaking portion of the project. 

“Hey there loser” You smiled as you approached Peter. He returned your smile quickly and looked back at his phone, texting away. “Hey, who you texting this early in the morning?” 

“I’m trying to get ahold of Happy, Mr. Starks head of security. I wanna see if they have another assignment for me.” 

“Already? I mean you did JUST get back from freaking Germany, fighting THE Captain America, might I remind you. I don’t think that the Avengers are working round the clock now that they’re broken up. Give it time Pete, he’ll get back to you.” You gave him a reassuring smile and side hug. You knew that Mr. Stark probably wouldn’t get in touch with Peter again for a minute, but Peter didn’t seem to want to accept that. He’d gotten a taste of that higher status as a superhero, and he probably wouldn’t let it go for a while. The two of you got on the bus when it arrived shortly after, and began rehearsing for your presentation. 

When you were dropped off at the nearest station, the two of you cut across the football field. Once in front of the school, you were greeted by Flash yelling “Sup, Penis Parker!” You flipped Flash off, and he quickly shut up and kept driving. He knew not to call you names because the last time he tried, you punched him in the throat. You didn’t do serious damage to him, just a sore throat for a couple minutes, but it gave him the message not to mess with you. You offered to do the same when he picks on Peter next, but he said that probably wouldn’t help his case if someone else fought his battles for him. When you got into the school you were about to say bye to Peter, you wanted to drop the Mantecados off to your Spanish class before you ate them all in between classes, or they fell out of your locker and went to waste. However, your bye was cut off by him staring off in the distance. You turned around to see what caught his eye, and you saw her. Liz, the upperclassmen who’d caught Peter’s eye as soon as the two of you had joined the academic decathlon. You turn you head back to Peter, a smirk plastered as you playfully punch his arm, 

“Earth to Peter.” He quickly shakes his head and chuckles to himself. “We’ll talk about this,” You motioned between Peter and where Liz previously was, “later, I’ve gotta go drop these off before I literally drop them.” You held out your hand to do your signature hand shake with Peter, and made your way to class. 

The presentation went better than expected, and the Mantecados were an absolute hit. You were still running on the adrenaline of doing such a great job, that you were practically jumping up and down as you waited in line for lunch. You joined Peter who’d beaten you to the cafeteria, at your usual seats in the back of the room, just the two of you and a couple seats down MJ. He was staring off again, a love-struck look on his face, and before even following his eyes you knew it was Liz. 

“Did Liz get a new top?” He mumbled, almost to himself.

“I don’t know Peter, why don’t you go ask her?” You smile smugly. “You should probably stop staring before it gets creepy though.” You whisper the advice, but MJ still heard.

“Too late. You’re a loser.”

Peter looked at her confused and offended,

“Then why do you sit with us?” he asked her.

“Because I don’t have any friends.” MJ retorted, and looked back at her book. 

“Anyway… Peter, just go up and talk to her. She’s actually really sweet and I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to ask her to at least help you study for the academic decathlon. Then boom, before you know it, you’re in!” You grinned and gave him two thumbs up, trying to encourage him. He just chuckled and shook his head, continuing to eat his tater tots. 

After school ended, you and Peter went to practice for the academic decathlon. You, MJ, a kid in your grade - Ned, and Flash were being asked questions by Liz. Peter sat out and began talking with Mr. Harrington. You weren’t sure what they were talking about, but suddenly Flash yelled across the room, 

“You’ve never even been in the same room as Tony Stark.” Your eyes widened, and you began to shake your leg, something that happened every time you got nervous. 

“What’s happening?” One of the girls studying asked

“Peter’s not going to Washington” Another one responded, who had been clearly eavesdropping. 

“Really? Right before nationals?” Liz asked him. You gave Peter a wide-eyed look, this had been the first you’ve heard of him considering dropping out of the competition. 

“He’s already quit marching band and robotics lab.” MJ chimed in, everyone on the team turned their heads towards her and gave her a questioning look, which she quickly responded with “I’m not obsessed with him, just observant.” 

“Flash, you’re in for Peter.” Liz said, quickly bringing the attention back to practice.

“Oh, I don’t know, I’ve got a hot date with Black Widow, I might have to check my calendar.” Flash said, poking fun at Peter. You rolled your eyes at him, and tried to focus back on your practice. 

As soon as practice was over, you and Peter made your way to the bus stop. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were dropping out of the finals?” You asked Peter as you waited for the next bus. 

“I wasn’t really planning on it, until we got to practice and I realized that it wouldn’t be smart of me to go. What if Mr. Stark needs me, and I’m not there?” 

“Peter, we’ve been over this. I don’t think Mr. Stark will have any assignments for you this soon. Even the Avengers have to take a break at some point.” 

“But what if Captain America comes back? What if he finally comes out of hiding and we have to chase him again? None of us know when that might be, so I have to be ready.” 

“But that’s the point Peter! No one knows, so you can’t put your life on pause, thinking that it might be within the next hour.” You were trying to reason with him, because you were worried about him. You didn’t want him to throw his current life away for some dream that might have only been a one time thing. 

“I can’t think like that (Y/N), I have to be ready for anything. Mr. Stark might need me, so I’m staying here.” Peter’s tone ended the conversation, and he quickly turned away from you to get on the bus. 

You were heading to Mr. Delmore’s convince store/deli to get after school sandwiches which had been a tradition, every Monday, since high school started. When you got there, the two of you got the usuals, and headed over to the abandoned building next door, climbing up the fire escape to sit on the roof and enjoy your subs. 

“So, enough decathlon talk, I know that I can’t force you to go, so I won’t try. What’s your worst fear?” This was another tradition. Once sat down and eating, one of you would come up with a random question that you had yet to know about the other. It kept the conversations interesting, and helped to strengthen your friendship, but overall, it was just fun compared to the boring “so this weather we’re having…” conversations. It was a sort of “penny for your thoughts” type of game. 

“Wow, (Y/N), I think that’s the deepest question yet. What did I ask last week? “What do you think life would be like with one giant toe rather than 5 small ones?”. You really know how to outshine me.” He chuckled, and thought about that question.

“Mines the unknown.” You answered as he thought about his. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I’m a ball of anxiety and a hypochondriac, what do you think it means?” You laughed a little. “I fear not knowing what might happen next. I fear not knowing how the planet will die. I fear not knowing if I’ll ever be happy in life. I fear not knowing if I’ll ever be successful in my future endeavors. I fear not knowing if I’ll ever find love.” 

Peter looked at you seriously, and grabbed your hand that wasn’t holding your sandwich. You both took bites and sat with your words for a moment. 

“I think that’s something everyone fears. Not knowing, but that’s what makes life so great, is everything is unexpected.” Peter said. You nodded and smiled at him, squeezing his hand. You let it go and cleared you throat, taking another bite of your sandwich and then prompting him to answer the question.

“Losing you.” He mumbled. You almost choked on your sub, not sure if it was because you were shocked by his answer or you found it funny. Looking over at his face as he slowly ate his sandwich, you knew he was being fully serious.

“Why? If you lost me, you’d probably be sad for a month or two, then eventually move on. Why not your aunt May?” 

“You seriously think I could lose you and just move on? Yeah I’d be devastated if I lost aunt May, of course I would. But I could honor her like I do with uncle Ben. I could keep her memory alive, and live how she would want me to. But I couldn’t live without you. Everything I do would remind me of you, and it would feel like a ghost was haunting me everywhere I went. I would go mad before I got over your death.” 

You smiled down at the remainder of your sub. 

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[pastelcoloreddreams]

Adrinette vs. Lukanette (My Thoughts)

We’ll start off with Lukanette and bounce back and forth between the two. 

Personally, I think that this ship is quite simple and cute. Much like Deku/Uraraka from BNHA, I like the simplicity of how it's not flashy.

He's not toxic to her, and he supports her and her dreams and she can be herself around him and I find that so sweet and romantic. ***SPOILERS*** She's more vulnerable with him about her true feelings and frustrations in Miracle Queen than Alya for most of the show which is surprising considering that Alya is her best friend. On top of that, he supports her, he listens to her. One of my favorite lines of his happened to also come from Miracle Queen which was: "You can tell me anything, or nothing if you prefer." Which shows how much he respects her even when she's in such a vulnerable state.

On multiple occasions, when writing Marinette's tune, he would play it for her and adjust it. However, once he finished it, he didn't want to play it for her because she was still captivated by Adrien. He didn't want to take advantage of her emotional state and just swoop in once things with Adrien didn't go the way Marinette hoped. He stood by her side and rooted for her in everything that she did. Even though she was interested in Adrien, he still told her to try her best with Adrien (Meaning he was content with her being happy, even if it wasn't with him). Even at the end of Miracle Queen when she asked him to play her song, he still asked her if she was sure that's what she wanted. Being a true gentleman, he wanted to make sure that she wasn't still feeling bad about Adrien and didn't want to confuse her feelings.

On the other hand, with Adrienette it's a different story. I shipped them at first and was quite excited when they had their moments together, and I thought they were sweet and cute. However, as the show progressed, it began to seem more and more like both of them were obsessed with a person.

- For Marinette: Adrien Agreste. She saw him as flawless and incapable of doing any wrong. She's placed him on a pedestal. She thinks the world of him because in her eyes, he's perfect. It becomes toxic when she starts following him, and constantly ignoring his flaws (Which he does have - that doesn't make him a bad character though-). There are situations where the world needs help and people are struggling and the first person she thinks of is Adrien. Now people may say that it's because she "loves" him, but honestly, it's because she is obsessed with him. Take for instance, the episode Desperada.***SPOILERS*** In Desperada, there are multiple moments in the episode where Marinette keeps choosing Adrien to do things which don't suit his character, or he flat out isn't good at (i.e. the guitar, and being the holder of the snake miraculous). Even when he objects and tries to point out that the things that she's suggesting for him aren't his strong suit, she still goes ahead and ignores him and slaps a guitar in his hand. This puts him in an awkward position not just because he didn't seem to be very confident in his guitar skills, but because he's also in front of one of his own idols and now has the pressure to not let him down (Which displays her pushing her ideals onto him and everyone, essentially trying to show off Adrien as the perfect person that she thinks he is, when in fact, he is not). Heck everyone in the cast was shocked that she chose Adrien instead of Luka for the guitar scenario. Luka however, knows Marinettes motives, and instead of volunteering himself, he just hands his guitar to Adrien and places his faith in Marinette. Another scenario in Desperada is when Marinette, as Ladybug, choses Adrien as Aspik. She heard the qualifications for the snake miraculous (as it was very powerful and dangerous in the wrong hands), and was basically like hmmmm that sounds like Adrien in my mind and just slaps the miraculous into his hand and lets him run wild. Even when Adrien handed back the miraculous she was still in denial that Adrien wasn't the perfect fit for the miraculous (EVEN AFTER HE LITERALLY ADMITTED TO HER THAT HE USED THE SNAKE MIRACULOUS OVER A THOUSAND TIMES *Sorry that part kinda just irritated me*). Adrien himself had to suggest Luka to Marinette for her to even realize that Adrien wasn't the person that she needed. Which honestly says a lot to me about their current "relationship". I still have space in my heart for Adrinette, but I really feel like those characters need to develop a lot more so that they can become a beautiful pair on their own.

- For Adrien: Ladybug: He sees her as his "perfect" lady. Confident, strong, beautiful, brave, and daring. Which seems to be the opposite of Marinette. The only thing that he maybe notices that Ladybug and Marinette have in common but maybe doesn't think about it, is how kind and creative they are. Aside from that, Adrien also has the same problem as Marinette albeit, toned down a bit. He also puts Ladybug on a pedestal. He sees her as perfect and believes no girl could ever top her. It's only when he sees her feeling bad/apologizing for her mistakes that he really acknowledges her flaws. He obsesses over her and gets incredibly dejected whenever she doesn't accept his feelings. Even when they're in the middle of a fight like in Oblivio (a fan favorite episode -which is both understandable and kind of dumb-). In the episode we're introduced to Mari and Adrien who have lost their memories and are trying to figure out who they are and how to get them back. It seemed like a cute and sweet concept, watching how they would respond to each other without their current feelings and problems. However, the moment we find out why they lost their memories and why theyre in the situations they in, it becomes significantly less charming. **SPOILERS** We end up figuring out that the reason they lost their memories and we're stuck in the situation that they were in was due to the fact that Chat Noir decided to throw a temper tantrum because Ladybug still won't accept his feelings and date him (which is a HUGE red flag mind you *Ladybug doesn't owe him a relationship at all. Even though he seems to make it seem like she does*). That's the thing about Chat Noir though, he doesn't know when to just let things go and move on. He doesn't understand the basic rules of don't bring your problems to work with you. Instead he constantly goes out of his way to prove himself to her thinking it will make her want to be with him (which doesn't ever work). On top of that in***SPOILERS*** Chat Blanc, we see something that honestly bothered me. He doesn't really care about who's behind the mask. Some of you might be saying "Where does it show that?!" or "Marinette and Adrien were such a cute couple and power team afterwords! What do you mean???" Well, the thing is... Adrien never thought of Marinette as more than a friend. It was convenient to him that Marinette was Ladybug. He already thought of Marinette as a good friend and kind person, so he just automatically accepted her as Ladybug. Let's say, in a hypothetical situation, that Kagami was revealed as Ladybug in some bizarre situation, he wouldn't care! He would go for Kagami because she would be Ladybug! Which is why I didn't really care about the reveal in Chat Blanc, or a reveal in general because Adrien would just project his feelings for Ladybug onto the person who Ladybug turns out to be. Even if he wasn't interested in them previously. The dude will just slap on his Bugaboo goggles and just roll with the punches.

Now, let's compare this to Luka and Marinette's current "relationship":

Luka already likes Marinette for who she is. He doesn't feel like she has to change and wants to be there for her and care for her and protect her. His hugest flaw that no one seems to address is that he is kind of a doormat when other people are in danger besides himself. Luka is not portrayed as the "perfect" person. He's portrayed as a protector. He's portrayed as a good person, a selfless person. This is the reason why the doormat flaw suits him (not that it's a good thing, but it's understandable for his character). He's respectful of her boundaries, and is careful with her when she's vulnerable. He'll defend her when he knows she's right and doesn't judge her when she makes her own mistakes. He just encourages her to work on herself more and boost her confidence. He values her safety above his own and does his best to make her happy. He cares about her so much and understands how much she cares about Adrien which is why he places her happiness above his own and accepts friendship with her because he just wants her to be happy.

The hugest flaw with the relationship between the two is honestly... Marinette's obsession with Adrien. She has feelings for Luka as shown multiple times in the show, but they're overshadowed by her extreme obsession with Adrien. She can tell that Luka cares about her, but she doesn't know how to let go of Adrien. This is problematic because they have a lot of potential to be a good and healthy relationship, but Marinette is so stuck on her own toxic "relationship" with Adrien, the ship can't properly progress which is a real shame. I know a lot of people hated Miracle Queen's ending because they wanted Adrienette to happen, but let's be honest for a second. We all knew that they weren't getting together in the last episode of season 3.

If I'm going to be 100% though, I think Marinette needs to focus on herself right now. She needs to figure out how to let go of her toxic obsession with Adrien and work on bettering herself as the new Guardian. A person I once knew said "You can't be in a relationship with others until you're content with being alone." Which is a phase I'm not sure either Marinette or Adrien as reached yet. I'm hoping that in season 4, they choose to have Marinette work on herself more! I would really like them to explore Luka's character a bit more as well! He hasn't shown up much in the show (Which is weird considering he's apparently a part of the main cast but.... whatever) I honestly hope all the characters get fleshed out a bit more in the next season! 

[mimiplaysgames]

A Powerful Enough Dream (Ch. 5)

Pairing: Terra/Aqua (eventually) Rating: T Word Count: 7,179

Summary: Aqua has to move. She has to find Ven, she has to leave friends behind, she has to rescue Terra... and most importantly, she needs answers when it comes to Xemnas. There’s a lot of disappointments to come.

Read on AO3

~*~*~*~*~*~

Game I

Even though she's slowly improving, Aqua can't help but feel that the hours are unkinder than usual.

She avoids being alone with Lea - not because of him, but because of anything else he knows. Minutes tick by before she realizes she's obsessing about the things he has said last night, only to obsess more.

Sometimes, she forgets where she is until she runs into something or gets smacked - quite literally this time, with a strong aroma and a flaky texture, like pollen.

"Look," Sora commands, his eyes hidden behind a pot of bright red daisies as he shoves them into Aqua's face. "Look how nice they are!"

He says that about every new delivery of red daisies, as though each time he's just as surprised and grateful.

The dining room in this great bright morning is absolutely filled with flowers. Sora can't even catch smell his gifts, his symptoms completely stuffing his nose to oblivion (his words, not Aqua's).

Tables near Riku are adorned with bushes of lilacs, and a pile of Thank You cards keep growing. Aqua has taken to reading them for him because the poison still gives him headaches.

Aqua receives gifts as well: blue star-shaped bellflowers that blanket the tabletops behind her like a textured ocean.

Only one table is free from floral invasion - the one the three of them are using, each with thick blankets wrapped around their shoulders, and personal mugs full of steaming tea.

Word is a parade is being organized for later that night, to celebrate the end of Kefka's reign. It's rushed, planned with marching bands and dancers and confetti but not much else. Rumor has it Noctis and Garnet are expected to walk the parade, but Aqua can't imagine that either of them would want that kind of attention.

Organizers have asked the Keyblade wielders to walk, but Donald apparently has denied the request on their behalf - they're still too sick.

A hotel employee, dressed very casually because no one is in the mood to take life seriously for the time being, brings yet another pot of flowers.

These are orange lilies, their shade growing darker at the tips. Sora takes the card dug into the pot and reads: "For Terra. From Noctis, Garnet, and Rydia."

He smiles, and drags the pot towards Aqua. "This will go with your stack." If there's a particular reason why Sora assumes they should go to Aqua, she pretends not to notice.

It's a beautiful gesture. Really, it is. A little piece of Terra, his intentions and his service earthed neatly into a pot that she can keep in memory. It makes her wonder for a slight second if he has a shirt around here that she can wear to sleep, but there's no one she would ever dare ask for it.

"Do you like them?" Sora asks, an impish grin on his face. He's teasing her. It's something Ven would do.

"Why are you asking?"

He sniggers. "They'd look much better with the blue flowers anyway. What's it called," Sora mutters, his chin in his hand. "Complementary colors?"

"Don't mind him," Riku says.

Sora backhands Riku's shoulder. "Yes, do mind me."

"He means well though."

"I mean well." Sora nods too quickly, and it makes him grab his head in pain.

"They're beautiful," Aqua says, bringing the pot closer instead of placing them by the rest of her flowers. It's not the same as hugging Terra, but it will have to do.

If Terra was here, he'd know what to say about Xemnas. He'd tell her that some people simply just don't get along no matter what, that it doesn't mean that either of them are bad.

Maybe Lea is really that choosy with who he hangs out with.

But something still doesn't sit right with her.

It's silent, and she forgets that she's losing herself to thoughts in the presence of other people. She figures she can't help it considering how long she's been alone. What do people say for small talk?

"It's weird." Riku breaks the silence, fingers in his hair like he's massaging the headache away. "Sitting here without anticipating Kefka's arrival."

"That's the way it should be," Sora says.

"Yeah…" Riku eyes Aqua nervously, and there's no way to tell what's on his mind. "You were... incredible. It's amazing what you can do with a Keyblade with proper focus."

That's right. They are self-trained.

"You both do so well on your own," Aqua says. And she means it, what with Riku's sharp tactics and Sora's gift of bringing his friends together to gather his power.

"Right…" Riku looks down at the table, and this time Sora's noticing. "It's interesting."

It almost sounds accusatory. "What is?" Aqua asks.

"The way you used Kefka's swords. Darkness to defeat darkness-"

"I don't use darkness," Aqua says shortly.

Her insistence, a sharp tongue meant to put a stop to anyone who questions her, keeps Riku tight-lipped. It even makes Sora do a double-take toward his best friend… and she wonders if he's suspicious too.

"You use darkness too," Sora gently says to Riku, as if to normalize the conversation.

"It's not the same," Riku says and immediately bites his lip. The rest he compensates: "I walk the road to dawn. Take the darkness and turn it into light to guide my way. But…"

It's enough to make Aqua's nostrils flare out. It's not true about her...

"She- You manipulated a part of Kefka and used it against itself. That's different from what I do." Riku switches course, giving her an encouraging smile. "It is inspiring though. I've never seen anything like it."

Aqua doesn't know what he's trying to imply. Or rather, she doesn't care to face it. "I…"

"Have been in the Realm of Darkness for a long time," Sora says with compassionate eyes. "And you're a Master. The way you sliced Kefka's head clean off with your Keyblade-" He finishes with a swoosh from his lips and a finger across his neck.

Riku chuckles. "I've always thought that anyone capable of making even a dent on Kefka should be called a Keyblade Master."

Sora contorts a smile like he's struggling to contain it. "Doesn't make you look good at all, does it, Riku?"

Aqua gasps. He's so young. "You're a Master?"

He nods once - to the side actually, like he's shy about it, when he normally presents himself with such confidence.

"Riku was meant for it," Sora cuts in, waving his hands like he's giving an entrance to the stars. "Destined to be Keyblade Master."

"Congratulations, Master Riku," Aqua says.

He hums, rubbing his forearm. "’Riku' is fine."

It's no wonder Sora loves teasing him. Riku makes it easy.

"That makes you the youngest Keyblade Master ever," Aqua says. It's funny watching Riku fight away his blushing. "You even beat me to it."

Sora is loving it, snorting into his hand.

"Age is really nothing." Riku dismisses her with a wave of her hand.

"I beg to differ. I've only studied it my entire life, but if you want to say you know more about this than I do-"

"That's not-" This time, Riku's cheeks really are red. "I didn't mean-"

Aqua clears her throat, and for a moment, Riku's silence is pregnant and anxious. She lets it build up much to his suffering, before saying, "I'm messing with you."

Sora holds a fist to his mouth to sustain his laughter, but it seeps out like the accidents of a trumpet.

Which is also a terrible idea, now that he can't control his coughing to the point where he almost plops onto the table out of exhaustion.

"Master to Master," Aqua says, seriously this time, and it catches Riku's attention. "I would appreciate if you respect the fact that I don't need a guardian."

He eyes her, most likely thinking back to last night when he conveniently left out crucial details just to keep her out of a dangerous fight. He clears his throat. "I thought that maybe Terra would have been worried if you were in that much danger."

"That would have been true." She goes back to the orange lilies, rubbing a petal with her thumb. "But he also would have trusted me to take care of myself."

"Right." He thinks hard, nodding, then nodding some more. "I won't do it again."

She wears an appreciative smile. "So your Keyblades…" she starts. There's so much ground to cover.

Traditionally, a wielder would be bequeathed. Their Keyblade would materialize when they're older, when they're on the brink of deciding who they want to be and what they want to strive for. In the case of Sora and Riku…

"Riku," she calls, her hand outstretched to him at the table. "I remember." Barely. "Terra chose you. I felt it. Your light burst into rays after he bequeathed you."

There's a small smile on Riku's lips and he doesn't have to say anything in order to tell her that he wears that memory with pride.

"But Sora," she continues. If he hasn't been bequeathed then… Well, if one Keyblade is the extension of the entirety of one's personal ambitions, dreams, bonds, heartaches, and identities, then... "How do you have two of them?"

It's so unfitting to watch his smile falter. To watch him fight with it. He's different than Lea in the sense that Lea acknowledges whatever flashes in his mind. Afterwards he puts on a mask, like he's two different people at once.

But Sora struggles to do the same. Sora buries it.

"I bet the other one belongs to Roxas," he says, hands behind his head. Riku agrees.

"I don't understand."

"My Nobody…" His eyes shiver. "I hate that word. Roxas is his own person, and calling him that-"

Riku places a hand on his shoulder, and it keeps Sora from digging deeper into such thoughts.

Whatever trials Sora went through in order to produce a Nobody must be an amazing story. He would have turned into a Heartless, succumbed to darkness for even a fraction of a second. Which is something Aqua would have never even considered for someone like Sora - he's so jovial, so loving, so willing to put others ahead of himself.

Maybe that's the reason. Everybody stretches themselves too much, and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sora leans forward, a hand to his chest. "I have Roxas' heart with me. That's why I have two Keyblades."

Again, Riku scuffles. "Did you know Terra can do the same?" he asks Aqua.

Terra with his Earthshaker and a nameless silver Keyblade. Considering how she saw Sora with two with her very own eyes, suddenly it's not hard to imagine.

If Terra is going through the same, then he's much stronger than she ever realized, having to carry a parasite inside.

Aqua chooses to think it's admirable, bearing on such a burden. She imagines somewhere where Sora can't touch, this Roxas person has to be incredibly sad not being able to taste life on his own. It makes her think of Ven, who also isn't able to share the flowers with her.

She's sure that Sora must have the same conviction she has to save them both.

"Sora," she starts. His name is starting to sound like sunshine. "I meant to bequeath you myself."

His eyes go wide, his lips small like a mouse's, like he's never considered he was meant for the honor. "... Seriously?"

"Yes." She chuckles. "You remember meeting me?"

"Vaguely."

"I remember it more," Riku says.

"I saw how bright your light was," Aqua says. "You were destined for it, too."

Sora is dumbstruck, eyes scanning the table for nothing to find. She's sure he's just forgotten to thank her since he's normally polite. Something tells her he's probably been told the complete opposite, judging by how much he's sinking into disbelief.

Riku is the one smiling more about that revelation.

"Thank you," Sora finally says, beaming like his self-esteem isn't in junk heaps.

"I really wanted to take you in," she says. "But… I was worried. By the time I met the both of you, I was sure I was going to have to fight Terra, even though I didn't want to. I was forced to put a stop to what was happening to us."

She tears up. It burns less than last night.

"I wanted to spare you both from the same," she whispers, seeing these grown-up boys with stronger jaws and shallower cheeks. "I didn't want the Keyblade to split the two of you like it did to us."

Sora cackles into laughter. It's contagious enough to affect Riku who quietly joins him in whatever inside joke she's not part of. "Too late."

"The good old days." Riku leans on his elbow and hides his face behind his hand. "You were a piece of work, Sora."

"You're one to talk," Sora scoffs, arms crossing at the surface of the table so he can lie his head down. "You were really obnoxious."

Riku melts into a grin then quickly composes himself, shrugging with one shoulder. "That's fair."

It could have been so different for them. Whatever their story is, it's null and void by now.

That's not honest, whatever happened has made Sora and Riku who they are today: strongly bonded, cracking jokes with a rhythm, powerful wielders who can rely on each other.

It could have been Terra and Aqua. It makes her feel silly, worrying so much because she thought there was a point where he couldn't be helped anymore.

She should have trusted more instead of assuming whatever path he was on was destructive to himself and everyone else.

But if it has worked out for Riku and Sora, who sit in front of her like they only have happy memories, then it may still work out for her and Terra.

She has to believe that.

The sound of squeaky wheels marches up to the table, and Rydia takes a cart with vials of elixir on the top shelf and stacks of colorful board games underneath. It's nice to see her walk around without dragging her feet or leaning on that old wizard's staff. Her slow recovery bodes well for all of them.

"You all look heavenly," she says, giving them each a personal vial which they are expected to drink in full.

"That's such a lie," Sora says, leaning over. "You're the one who looks almost normal."

She grimaces. "Not according to everyone in town… They say that once Kefka has gotten you, it will stay with you forever."

"Then buy him a clown nose," Riku points to Sora, which earns him a jab in the ribs.

"What exactly does that mean?" Aqua asks, more serious that she'd like to admit.

There's an invasive suspicion that refuses to vacate the back of her mind: that darkness has found a way into her heart, and that it may mean it will always linger there. What would the Master think?

Rydia bends over to caress her shoulder. "Nothing to worry about. It's something the townsfolk say to have a reason to stay scared. They want to deny anything and everything that would threaten them further."

Is that why Rydia's smile doesn't reach her eyes? Are they alienating her?

Rydia doesn't answer the questions in Aqua's mind, and instead pulls out the stack games, some in different languages, and lets them choose one.

"You want a rematch?" Riku asks.

"Absolutely not," Rydia says with a wink. "I still want to gloat about my win."

The stack is the typical clash of colors, a desperate way to claw at children's attention. Aqua is lucky. Having a Master that traveled through different universes meant she had the privilege to play with things that would otherwise never arrive at a child's door.

And there is one she does recognize.

"Command Board," she says, pulling it out from underneath the rest.

"Good choice," Sora says, even though he's likely never played it before.

"We used to grow up playing this." She chuckles to herself, remembering all the times she accused Terra of cheating. How Ven got a little too proud if he happened to win.

"It's a three-player game," Rydia says with a small nod. She's the odd fourth in the group, and maybe Aqua is a little sensitive to the idea of her not belonging, but Rydia waves like she's not bothered by it. "I hope you make new memories with it. It'll help with the poison."

"Huh?" Sora mutters.

Rydia may know better, but she probably should have been more blunt: to say that Aqua should keep her chin up and stay optimistic in spite of trying times. Aqua doesn't understand why the people around her are so concerned about her state of mind - does coming from the Realm of Darkness creep them out that much?

If what they say about Kefka's poison is just a jest, then Aqua truly doesn't have anything to worry about.

"How do you play?" Sora asks, and Aqua realizes she's been silent too long, once again.

Riku watches her with intent, and she challenges his gaze enough to get him to look somewhere else.

"Ah," she breathes. "The rules are complicated but you'll learn along the way."

She lifts the lid. This board isn't the same one she used to play with, but the rules are similar so she'll take it as a grand new adventure. There's some cards missing, but the dice are definitely all present.

Playing with Sora and Riku is like playing with friendly ghosts.

There's Sora with all his enthusiasm, already going too far in plotting strategies for events he can't predict are going to happen (so far he has a fifty-fifty success rate). He's so much like Ven, who's cunning enough to make all the right assumptions, and threw down more cards than he cared about moving his piece through the board. Ven loved to tag-team and then betray, pitting Terra and Aqua against each other so they wouldn't go after him.

Riku is a little more reserved and careful. He reads his cards like he's studying a textbook, and he catches the both of them by surprise when he considers card combinations she's never tried before. He's like Terra, slow and sneaky. Terra had terrible poker face, usually bringing his cards right against his nose to hide what he's thinking. And that's only if he wasn't throwing glances at Aqua with a smirk on his face. He used to say that it's to predict what she's going to do next. Nowadays, Aqua thinks it's so much more than that.

Yet Riku and Sora are different. They are a nice homage to childish days, a breath of fresh nostalgia. They are innocent in the game, but not yet to the point where they have to consider tricking Aqua, and this gives her an advantage.

It's as colorful in Traverse Town as the spots on the board. It may hide dreary secrets behind the night lights, mixed with its enviously gorgeous architecture, but there's a pleasant space here. A spot to hide away from sins.

It's not really a home, yet. But it's close enough.

~*~*~*~*~

The streets are louder than ever when night comes. It's the fourth parade in a row, which Aqua watches from her bedroom window. The horns are thunderous, drums banging to the pace of the march where dancers hand balloons to children and throw candy at everyone else.

It may be the fourth but Noctis is still uncomfortable, hands hiding in his pockets instead of waving to the crowds. He only calms when Garnet joins him on such an embarrassment, all the way through to the end. If she's not smiling at people, she's looking at the cobblestones under her feet.

Aqua is on the highest floor of the hotel but she can still hear Donald's scratchy whining down below whenever Sora bursts out of the hotel doors. They're all doing so much better by now, but he still treats them as delicate.

By now, Sora doesn't have a guttural cough anymore.

By now, the electric bell in the clock tower has been deactivated, under Noctis' orders.

By now, Lea knocks on Aqua's door with a mug already prepared with sleeping weed. For as much as Lea acts like he enjoys hanging out with people, he certainly spends a lot of time alone, avoiding the crowds. Like water, like fire.

"You forgot your tea," he says, and sets the mug on her bedside table. "Three cheers for health, dreams, and vanquishing Heartless. Now drink it."

Other nights, Aqua's usually more willing to drink. Tonight, she walks briskly to pick up Terra's Wayfinder, massaging it in her hand while Lea makes himself comfortable with a chair in between his legs.

She could avoid it, but she's terrible about this sort of thing. Eventually, Lea will read exactly how anxious she is.

"Does it smell funny?" He's already doing it.

There's a growing list of questions ever since Lea made it clear that he and Xemnas don't get along. There shouldn't be, and Aqua wants to be mature enough to cast them aside.

"I don't have friends from the darkness," she says.

Yet it still bothers her.

Lea looks around the room, from one corner to another, from the carpet to the ceiling. "That doesn't answer my question.

That she's made a friend in the darkness.

She holds the Wayfinder close to her heart. "What does Xemnas do?"

"Still on that, huh." Lea scoffs. She's expected him to maybe grunt in shock, or give her a grim response. "You really want to know?"

No.

"I don't know." She blinks several times, like she's just been awakened. "He… he was supposed to find me. He promised he'd get me out."

"Out of the Realm of Darkness?" Lea whistles, crossing his arms over the backrest and resting his chin on his fist. "There's nothing much to tell about Xemnas. It's not a good story, so just drink your tea, it'll make you feel better."

How can it be, she wonders. She remembers the very first time she's ever heard his voice.

Somewhere deep where mirrors talked back and had a mind of their own.

And she had asked:

"Is this… the last apparition before it takes me over?"

And he had said:

"No."

"...No?"

"You wanted an answer to your question. It is no."

Since then, whenever she struggled with painful loneliness, he gave her peaceful solitude.

Lea's voice reminds her that she's nowhere deep anymore. "If you want to know what happened to him, you should ask Riku and Sora." Then he laughs, shaking his head with disgust like he's embarrassed he's told a terrible joke. "Nevermind. Don't tell Sora, he'd be pretty upset if he heard."

"Why would-" She takes a sharp inhale. "Why-"

Something about it clicks. If those boys were involved, then Lea is right: it's a truth she'd never want to hear.

But Aqua is sometimes too brave for her own good, even in the face of regret.

Lea looks at her hard. "You should really count your blessings."

He takes too much time to find the right words, and she wants to slap him to get on with it since what is so difficult about this information?

After deliberation, he says, "He's Xehanort's Nobody."

It isn't what she expected. It isn't even her worst nightmare, yet Aqua cripples down to the floor, nearly hurling over the carpet, shutting her mouth with her hands. The parade outside sings and dances by itself, a different life altogether than what's living in her own room.

"Hey," Lea objects, his hands up in surrender. "It's not that shameful to be a Nobody."

"He isn't."

"Oh, he is." He stands up, coming over her shoulder to make sure she's not losing herself. "Devilishly handsome, stone-faced, cold-hearted, greedy, obnoxious - all the makings of a cockroach."

"How could I have fallen for it?" she snaps, even though she doesn't mean to take it out on Lea.

When she sobers after giving him a cold stare, she understands. It's not just her. Terra fell for it too, right after the most important failure of his life that left him utterly broken-hearted.

Aqua was broken-hearted, as well.

Lea's emerald green eyes spark. He smirks, bending down on his knees to join her. "I see that you're smart enough to know the answer to that question, so I don't have to waste my breath." He takes the mug and cups it. "This is the third damn time I'm telling you to drink your tea. Or else I'll hire you a mother."

She is absent-minded when she takes the mug, only aware enough that it doesn't tip over and spill. "Does that make me a terrible Master? That I let him in?"

"Nah." Lea waves his hand over like he's swatting a fly. "If I was alone that much, I wouldn't care either. And that's saying something."

"I really felt like I needed him." She sighs. She's supposed to be smarter than this, to notice when people take advantage of her. And it makes her angry. "When I see him again-"

"Stop right there." He clicks his tongue and waves a finger at her. "There's no need to look for him. You won't get any answers, and it won't make you happy."

Lea then pats her on the shoulder hard enough to knock her off her stupor.

She once told Xemnas how grateful she was for his companionship. Aqua doesn't know whether to grieve over something that never existed, or start a war. "What else is left?" she asks.

"With Xemnas?" He scratches his head, already on his way towards the door. "Nothing. He's Nobody. A blip in a tiny part of your past and not much more."

When he opens her door, Duchess and her kittens are already clawing to come in. "Well, excuse me." He lifts one leg let them in, then turns an about-face to bid her good night. "Aqua, for crying out loud, drink it." He shuts it.

Aqua sits on the carpet, Duchess climbing onto her lap. She purrs. It's enough to remind Aqua that she has some cat food stashed away, so she neglects her tea to prepare it for them.

"Terra," she says to his Wayfinder, the last of the cat bowl filled, "I swear I'm going to bring us all back together and keep us protected."

Vulnerable - that's the word she feels strongest, being exposed to Xehanort like that when she thought she was immune to him.

Terra once told her he was stupid many years ago, and now the joke's on her.

The melody from his music box melts away the embarrassment for now.

"I'm so sorry," she says, "for judging you the way I did."

The tea is now lukewarm, but along with the leftover elixir that waits on her bedside table, she expects - she demands of her body - to heal completely by tomorrow.

~*~*~*~*~

Aqua still doesn't feel so well, but she's fine enough. Minor headaches to and fro, some nausea left in the morning, and heaping of grumpiness. She asks Riku and Sora if they're well enough to join her, and they're bored enough to jump the bandwagon as quickly as possible. Good.

After four nights in a row partying, Traverse Town is ready to hunker down and begin rebuilding. The hotel is once again filled with the bustle of workers, and Noctis is always followed by a crowd of people waiting for their assignments, just an ordinary day for him.

Cid of course is always nagging him.

"We got the hospital to clean out in the west," Cid would bark.

"I know, I have it on my list," Noctis would snark back.

"What about the third district?"

"I'm getting on that."

"Sewers are a mess, the Heartless-"

"I know."

"The clock tower needs-"

"I know."

"Kid, I don't know what to do with ya!"

Goodbyes are quick. Rydia makes absolutely certain that Aqua promises she'll take care of herself. Originally, Rydia objected to their leave, but compensates by giving them extra elixirs just in case. She inspects their faces to make sure they have proper color, before demanding hugs.

Noctis thanks Sora and Riku specifically for their work in vanquishing Heartless and Nobodies. Maybe one day, he'll be reunited with his friends. That once they're back, he'll take them to see what else is out there, as soon as his work is finished.

Aqua doesn't know what to say to him. Tradition says that reckless travel in between worlds is forbidden. Upsets the balance of the multiverse, brings oblivion and destruction, etc etc.

And yet, Traverse Town is the exact opposite of everything she knows. Aqua wonders if the Master was ever aware of its existence.

Lea pulls her aside for his temporary farewell - he has business to take care of, and his own personal gummi ship sits only one, so there's no use tagging along. But he's still mulish about his belief that Aqua is in need of a loving, doting mother to take care of areas that she's neglecting, and somehow he must deem himself perfect for the role.

His advice: Mind your vegetables.

Second, Drink water.

He has trouble thinking of a third one, and he settles for Don't get a concussion. Aqua doesn't consider this to be something most mothers would say to their children.

Finally, he tells her, Don't get pregnant. And that's enough wisdom for the day.

Just like that, he's gone. He moves like he has someplace to go, just like everyone else around here, leaving messes and tripping over them, splitting up until lunch break, telling their wives and children that they'll be back later in the day.

There's just one person who is still.

The rabbit-woman from the other night, sitting on a lounge chair by the wall opposite, fine curtains and exquisite vases notwithstanding.

She watches Aqua diligently like a hunter, with an expression that's hard to describe. Aqua interprets it as condescension. Suspicion, distrust, and there's a sense that this rabbit-woman sees through Aqua, as if reading her insides, her mind, her heart.

The rabbit-woman is scantily dressed, showing more dark skin that anything else, with hair as white as clouds, and it makes Aqua blush.

"Our heroine of fine quality," she hears a voice say behind her. The well-dressed man strides with confidence, rebuttoning his cuffs. He smells like he has just bathed in soap and cologne. This close, the embroidery on his vest looks like it was sewn with gold thread. "That was quite a show you've given us that night."

Aqua is still flustered by the rabbit-woman, and she stammers. This isn't like her. "I- Excuse me, um, who is asking exactly?"

"Balthier," he says like she's supposed to know. "I see Fran has made her acquaintance as well."

Aqua clears her throat.

"Balthier," Garnet calls out, floating over on her dainty feet, with excitement in her voice and a grand smile on her face. It suits her better than despair. "I believe you are intimidating our guest."

"I trust it isn't my disposition." The way he's speaking - he's flirting with her.

Garnet takes a moment to study him. "I imagine pirates have their way."

"Well, I am no ruffian."

"Pirates?" Aqua asks. "You don't strike me as one."

"I'm a sky pirate," Balthier says as though he's offended. "I suppose I should have greeted you with an 'Ahoy, matey' and doubtless you'd be convinced."

"Sky pirates," Aqua whispers. It makes sense. Now she knows where she's seen Fran before - or rather people like Fran. Viera, that's the word to describe their race of people. All the way in the corner of the empty space that splits the worlds apart is a cluster of stars that form their very own galaxy. The Master has theorized it is because the threads that should have cut after the great Keyblade War are still strung together.

Montressor - that's the name of one of the stars there. They have been there before… maybe seventeen years ago by this point? The Master had supervised them on a mission there.

Aqua doesn't say anything about it - it's no good to trust pirates.

"Then where did you learn water magic?" she asks Balthier. "It's rare."

Balthier has a smug look on his face. "I have acquired some runes."

Or stolen them. Either way, it's definitely a lie. He turns over his shoulder to meet with his partner.

"What say you, Fran?" He takes a seat on one of the shorter dressers right by her side. "Where shall the stars take us next?"

Fran takes one more stare at Aqua before replying, "The sun will set." Her accent rolls and purrs, though it's subtle. "And we will meet it."

Balthier has no option but to take what he gets. "Lovely. Carry onward, then."

They move too, in opposite directions as everyone else.

There must be something on Aqua's face, because Garnet reads it and says, "Fran is a special member of our community." It's a wonder how she can trust pirates so easily.

"What does she do?"

"She senses the darkness in others, even in our worlds. That is exactly how they have saved me." Garnet holds a crystal hanging from her neck. "And she has been an asset to us every since."

It's unsettling for Aqua, but she's fine the way she is. Kefka's poison will not turn her into a Heartless.

Without warning, Garnet takes both her hands and holds them in between. "Have no fear. You are quite capable, and stronger than anyone I have ever met."

Aqua hasn't been feeling that way the last couple of days. "Thank you," she says with a smile.

Garnet returns it, a sparkle in her eyes. "He is a treasure, Aqua."

"Uh, who?"

"Terra, of course." Why does everyone have to put her on the spot? "He brought you to us."

There's so much heat in Aqua's cheeks, she's sure she's red in the face. "Ah, thank you." It sounds more like a question that anything else, a slip in the cracks of her otherwise serious demeanor.

"Before I forget." Garnet lets go of her, and searches a knapsack hanging from her shoulder. "Terra purchased this for Ventus."

A fancy silver whistle, adorned with red gemstones. "It is enchanted," Garnet says, "its calls meant only for the one who is needed. Be sure to give it to him?"

"Of course." That is so much like Terra, leaving them random things he feels they need.

At least that's his usual self. It's hard to imagine what he was thinking when he went off on his own and never came back to the Land of Departure. Aqua had suspected he stopped caring about them.

But he never did, and that's the point.

"And be sure to give Leon and Lightning our love," Garnet says. "We owe them our lives for all the help they've granted us."

Not like Aqua knows who they are.

~*~*~*~*~

Riku takes the helm of Sora's gummi ship since his own has been sliced in two by a lunatic clown. He says it's because it's safer if he drives, but Aqua suspects he trusts Sora wholeheartedly, more than he lets on.

He just won't admit he likes to be in control.

The gummi ship is comfortable and large, lights blinking in a language Aqua does not understand. She never imagined that engineers could create technology that allows people to travel between worlds without the guidance of a Keyblade. The Master would surely disapprove of this.

She takes the empty seat behind Sora, and finishes making herself comfortable when Donald walks in. Apparently she has taken his chair, counting on the way he's mumbling and gurgling to himself. With the scratchiness of his voice, it's impossible to tell what he's saying to her.

Sora understands him, giving Aqua a shake of his head as if saying not to worry. Maybe Donald is usually this grumpy. "He said no, again?" he asks Donald.

"He said no again." Donald takes the seat next to Aqua, Goofy trailing closely behind with a pep to his step.

"What's going on?" Riku is busy turning on the engine, but he listens closely.

"Balthier won't take our munny to find a Door to Darkness," Sora says. "Dangerous business, he says, if there's nothing to gain from it or no one to save from a world that's about to fall."

Riku scoffs. "I guess that makes sense? It's funny to see him that concerned."

"Why? He's pretty cool."

"You say that about every pirate."

"He's a pirate that flies. That's better than anything."

"How is he able to travel to other worlds?" Aqua asks. "He shouldn't be able to do that in the first place."

Riku grimaces, trapping a laugh. "Sora, you don't know this story."

Sora hops in his seat. "Tell me."

"Mickey and I," Riku starts, and it already catches Donald and Goofy's attention. "Traveled to Montressor… I don't remember why we were there, but Balthier caught us red-handed landing in that world. He chased us using his sky ship, all over the stars of that world. It's humongous."

"Are you serious?" Sora is near laughing, and Donald grunts.

"And he caught us."

"Ha."

"Tied us up, and demanded to know how we even got there.

"Well, obviously you're fine. He's cool, like I said."

"We gave him spare gummi parts, then he let us go. Simple as that."

Sora slaps his knee. "That's awesome."

"Hmph!" Donald nearly slaps his own waist in fury, like scolding them with his hands on his hips won't catch up to how angry he is. "That was dangerous for the King!"

Goofy laughs - it's a hearty one, like there's reason to be happy. "They got out just fine."

Suddenly Donald hangs his head. "We left the King in the Realm of Darkness."

Ooh, sadness on Goofy is enough to make Aqua tear up - he's so animated, so contorted with grief, and he takes his hat off like he's honoring a funeral. "If only his Majesty let us go with him."

Riku is quiet, and Sora sighs.

"It was Mickey's choice," Riku says calmly, "like I've said before. He wields powerful magic, and he has Terra with him."

Goofy keeps quiet.

Donald, however, fires up. "If anything happens to the King, Terra knows what I am capable of."

"Now, now," Goofy says, putting his hat back on and counting on his fingers. "Terra is kind, and generous, and helpful-"

"He's trouble." Donald crosses his arms.

Sora snorts. "Don't worry about them Aqua, they're always like that. Terra is awesome." He spins over his seat to give her a reassuring smile. "Where to first?"

Riku turns over his shoulder, too. "I hope to Master Yen Sid's?" He takes one look at Aqua and gets his answer. "You're going to be as difficult as Terra, aren't you? Fine."

Ven is far more important than anything. There's really nothing she has to say to Yen Sid, and for some reason… she doesn't want anything he has to offer. She's the only one that knows about Ven, so there isn't anything new he could tell her.

"I need to go to the Land of Departure."

Sora and Riku exchange looks. It's clear they've heard of it before. "Terra asked for the same."

Aqua hesitates. "And?"

Riku turns on a device which whirrs and spits and beeps like it's scanning. He gives another look over to Sora, this time more grim.

"The pathway is blocked," he says simply.

"I'm sorry, what are you saying?" Aqua leans over, holding Sora's chair to keep herself steady.

"We can only travel through highways in between worlds. Nothing like what you're able to with your armor and glider," Riku explains with melancholy to his voice. But he wouldn't know either - he'd never be able to comprehend how sick she's getting right now. "Why it's blocked can mean ten different things, but usually we find it in our scanner."

The Land of Departure has changed dramatically, that much is true. Darkness has ruled its skies for years, the castle has been disfigured, so maybe something is off. What if it got worse? What if it was attacked?

… What if it fell?

"Ven is there," she blurts out, shivering. She doesn't mean to say it. He's only safe if she's the only one who knows, but… "I have to get there. I can't leave him behind-"

Sora grabs her wrist. His smile is… angelic almost, like she doesn't have to explain herself.

"Ventus is fine," Sora says, even though he has no way of knowing. "I don't believe that you'd ever be reckless with him, so I know he's okay."

She stirs. There's a warmth in her chest that caresses her stomach. Sora is right. If she listens, her heart knows that Ven is fine. She doesn't know how Sora could feel the same way since they don't know each other, but he has a gift. She's always sensed it.

Riku takes turns glancing at each of them. "What's with you all of a sudden?" he asks Sora.

Sora lets her go and situates back in his seat. "What do you mean?"

Goofy chuckles that warm swelling of his. "Somethin's different about ya."

"What?"

"You're just different around Terra and Aqua," Riku says too quickly. "You're very needy for their attention."

Sora interlaces his fingers behind his head, leaning into his chair. "And you're just jealous."

"Yen Sid's, then?" Riku tries again. He throws another glance at Aqua to test the waters and she sighs.

If she had her own Keyblade, her own armor, she could find the Land of Departure by herself and do what she has to do.

Yet the Master would have respected her for visiting his old friend, and accept the wisdom given. After all, she's a Master too, and she has responsibilities.

Making Ven wait isn't worth any of them, though.

Does she have a choice? In order to get to Ven, she absolutely needs her armor, and can make do with the Master's Defender. Maybe Yen Sid could be useful in giving her direction.

… Aqua still isn't sure she wants to listen to someone who lazily sat with his outdated books while she waited for someone to save her. It's not very noble of him at all.

"Okay then," she says unenthusiastically.

"Finally!" Sora shoots a fist in the air while Riku revs the engine. "I'm ready to go. You know, once we get Terra back, he needs to teach us how to make armor like that. It's the coolest thing."

"Sounds like a great idea," Riku says.

"It is," Aqua says softly. She's wasting time traveling the opposite direction.

Leaving what she really wants behind for yet another day. Traverse Town shrinks as they fly up, and she hopes the next time she comes here, it's prettier.

A/N: This chapter makes references to Treasure Planet (2002).

[aerialflight]

One Piece Fic Recs

Okay I’ve been obsessing over One Piece lately and I have a need to spread the One Piece love with these fics that I recently found and can’t stop thinking about now. Hope you all enjoy!

-

Sleeping Arrangements by Altiria 

Ship: Law/Luffy

Nightmares plaguing Law keep him awake most nights, an unusual arrangement keeps him blissfully dream free. Some miscommunications form from the result.

(listen, LISTEN, this summary doesn’t do this story justice when it comes to showing the sheer hilarity and chaos that happens in this fic. this is basically a story of Luffy doing his best to try and marry Law and everybody gets dragged into it. and when i say everybody, i mean EVERYBODY. this is the funniest fic i’ve read in ages and i guarantee you won’t be able to breathe at some points when reading this fic.)

True Love's Kiss by Altiria

Ship: Law/Luffy, Marco/Ace

The Whitebeard crew converge upon Marineford to rescue one of their own. As they arrive, they and everyone nearby is cursed by the powers of the fairy-tale fruit. Luffy, the only one with his memories intact, now needs to find a way to break them all out of the story with the aid of almost stranger; who deeply regrets his involvement.

Starring: 'spontaneous singing', 'definitely not a princess,’ 'I'm too old for this,' and a group of pirates who are never ever going to live this down.

(discovering this author was the best thing that happened to me this week, so i had to rec two of her fics in a row. i swear there are some scenes in here that i can’t unsee and it’s burned into my memory now. and i absolutely do not regret it cause just thinking about it has me cackling like a mad man.)

A Test of Endurance by RememberThePetrichor

Ship: Doflamingo/Crocodile

It’s strange the things that tie people back together. A backwards glance. A rash decision. Or in Crocodile and Doflamingo’s case, a severe psychotic episode in a dank alleyway at three in the morning. [Dofladile anthology with a tiny dollop of smut, now also with plot]

(never in a million years did i think i would ever like this ship, yet here we are. the fic explores these two unexpected, jagged people together and it’s amazing how well they fit. and crocodile is so emotionally constipated and i’m laughing at him the entire way. a smitten doflamingo is an image i didn’t know could exist, yet the author somehow managed to bring it into the world. it’s brilliant and i definitely rec this if you like complicated, stretched out timeless romances. will continue to keep an eye on this.)

Prospects by BrambleFuzz

“I might end up having to kill you. That makes me an enemy, don’t you understand?” “But enemies are supposed to hate each other, right?” Straw Hat questioned, drawing his eyes back to Katakuri’s face. “Do you?”

(Luffy is insistent that he and Katakuri are friends, and Katakuri is insistent that they are not. One of them is very much in denial, but perhaps for good reason.)

(no one is safe when it comes to luffy’s unending charisma and stubborn insistence of friendship. it’s beautiful and i love this.)

Heed the Siren's Call by missmungoe

Ship: Shanks/Makino

Rumours on the tide say he's got a girl in every port, but sea-sayings tend to exaggerate. There was only ever one port—and the one girl.

Pre-series. Bookish and wilful, Makino is not even twenty when her legal guardian leaves her on her own, and with a bar to boot. And it figures he'd choose the greatest personal upheaval in her life to make his entrance. After all, he's that kind of guy.

Part 1 of Shanties for the Weary Voyager

(i don’t know what’s up with me reading shipping fics, i usually go to gen when it comes to one piece but i definitely don’t regret it. wow, this fic was honestly a journey and it’s stunning. i honestly can’t unsee the potential of this ship now and god, i wish this is canon. i really, really do. also, this is part of a series and i’m going to be honest, it’s Sea Songs that completely won me over. it’s the sequel to this story and it’s what made me completely fall in love with this series and this ship. But, reading the first of the series definitely adds more depth to their relationship and is the beginning of everything, if i have to be dramatic about it. which i do, cause it deserves it.)

Unwritten by missmungoe

Ship: Mihawk/Hancock

She's used to flattery and pretty words.

What she gets from him is...not that.

(bet your didn’t expect this, cause i sure didn’t. but man, this ship just works and i love it so much. you have no idea how much i digged for more fics on this pairing and it’s disappointingly low to say the least. can’t regret it though. honestly, the author is just so good at shipping two characters i don’t expect to work, yet it does.)

sic itur ad astra by donutsandcoffee

Humans can make out patterns out of nothing. Like discovering shapes in the cloud, or images between the stars. If you listen to static noise long enough they start to form meaningful words, even when there isn’t any.

This is the closest approximation to how Ichiji feels things.

It is almost fascinating, then, for him, to watch Sanji, who seems to feel everything with his entire being, so visceral and open and raw.

(such a fantastic character study on a character that isn’t explored much. ichiji is so complex here and the author gives him more nuance in how he rationalizes emotions and who he is as a person. his relationship with sanji is given more depth and i’m so happy! definitely read this!)

Memoirs of a Suicidal Pirate by alkhale

Getting murdered while trying to kill yourself is bad luck. Getting reincarnated after that is just a bad joke. But Toonami reruns and cheap commissions info have taught her this world has plenty of chances to get yourself killed. It can't be that hard.

"So you're actually trying to die?"

"Yes."

"You know you're his nakama now, right?"

"So?"

"...Good luck with that."

(this is a fic that i’m literally waiting at the edge of my seat for to update. every time it does, my heart soars and my day, no, week improves instantly. i swear, the worldbuilding in this is top notch and if i didn’t know one piece at the back of my hand, i would absolutely believe the OC self-insert character was a real character in One Piece, i am not kidding. the author hits the tone, the WORLDBUILDING, the characters, literally everything that makes One Piece what it is, right on the nail. i laughed, i cried, i felt incessant rage at the very One Piece existing cruelty of the world, i really felt like i was reading canon One Piece, and that’s no easy accomplishment. seriously, please for the love of god read this. @adelmortescryche and i freak over this all the time and i need to spread this fic like a wildfire to other people, god.)

[moonlightgirl-05]

Ray Bad Ending Story 1 walkthrough + Bad Relationship 1 walktrough

Bad Ending Story 1 (5-6 days)

1. Get into Ray’s route from 1 - 4 days in Another story 

Day 5:

00:21 

*  I can’t go to sleep. There’s something bothering me….

*  Hmm… I’m sure he has an important thing planned.

*  Whoa, whoa… Let’s take it easy, Jumin.

*  Does your father have a new girlfriend…. ?

*  Did you eat them all? I bet you’ve been pumped up lol

*  Talk about his scale… Your father’s the best!

*  Does that mean we’d get to see a cat tower in the company????

*  … You actually have the time to make this print?

*  I think motivation works best when it comes from pressure.

*  I don’t think you have to worry about me

*  No, nothing.

*  You mean becoming a cool-headed businessman?

*  Because then more people would get to see it?

*  Jumin, when do you plan to get to bed?

*  ….

*  Do we really have to identify who the hacker is?

*  Even if Seven gives his all, he’ll never be able to beat this hacker lol

*  V…is this really the best?

*  …You’re trying to keep your secret, not lighten his load.

*  But I think you’re already good enough!

*  …At least I appreciate that you’re working so hard.

*  You’re not up to something with Seven, are you?

*  I’ll see you again – !

*  Well, I only wish everyone’s paradise will come soon

*  I wish you wouldn’t underestimate that hacker.

* I  agree…. V seems to have a very strong sense of responsibility.

*  I should settle down now and go to sleep.

02:44

*  It’s just that this hacker is a bit frustrating

*  It’s just that….I feel frustrated for some reason.

*  Because he told you not to chase the hacker?

*  Sure…

*  Guardian? Yeah right… I think he’s just busy cleaning up the mess.

* But you gotta admit you’re not as good as that hacker…

*  You should be ashamed of yourself. And admit that the hacker is better than you.

*  Are you sure we can trust V?

*  Hmmm…I don’t think you should trust him too much.

*  If you’re good to work, why not recommend a guest? LoL

*  I wish she could write this complicated situation into poems… Sure, let’s invite her…. or I don’t know…. She doesn’t sound like a good guest. (If you don’t want the email)

*  …Still, you won’t be able to defeat this hacker.

*  Bye –

06:03

*  Seven won’t be after you anymore… What do you think about that?

*  I was surprised, actually. You’re weaker than I thought

*  Arrogance results in misfortunes.

*  Hmm…are you sure I’ll be safe here?

*  I think you should work harder if you have time to chat like this.

*  You should stop chatting and get to work now.

09:12

*  Hey Yoosung

*  That’s because your digestive system is failing.

*  Huh…..

*  You’re rude to your mother!

*  You should do something about him…

*  Yoosung, you should keep a regular lifestyle.

*  They’re both bad. Both of you need special treatment for your health

*  Who knows…? Maybe your face will turn all shiny and pretty like a sunflower!

*  Your mother called?

* Your efforts will all return in the end.

*  You should try it. You”d see in the end that your mother is right.

*  Don’t you think you’re being obsessive…by keeping your questions, Yoosung?

*  Even if you are disappointed, I think it’s because she’s your mother. Try to be a little more understanding.

*  But V could almost be your family in the past.

*  You should obey your mother. Your family might ask unreasonable things but they provide you a place to be

*  But then again…you wouldn’t know the duty of a mother, Zen. Bond with a mother is indestructible…

*  One more game?

*  We can all have our own ways with life – !

*  You’re being unreasonable.

*  Goodbye.

*  He’s so immature. I think it’s because he’s not with his parents.

*  He’s being immature. Someone’s gotta teach him how cruel the world is.

*  If I were you, I’ll try calling them. Don’t you think it’s such a tragedy to stay disconnected from your family?

* Goodbye.

12:21

*  Hello.

*  Not yet…

*  Why were you so busy?

*  You should work on things that got delayed while standing by.

*  What meaning would that have? You’ve joined the company recently, it’ll be better if you think about […]

*  Here’s your boss.

*  Don’t you think you’re slacking off too much?

* Don’t tell me… Jumin… Do you have a new business in mind…?

*  Caps.

*  I don’t think anyone can beat this hacker.

*  That’s not gonna happen…because no one’s as good as this hacker. ^^

* That’s nice…We can bring both of them to this…

*  I feel like having the unit’s info for dinner…

*  Though I’m sure you’d need more than that to defeat this hacker.

*  Perhaps the department doesn’t exist at all…

*  Good luck.

*  I’m not sure…

*  Could you fix my computer, Jaehee?

*  Congrats – !!! Haha.

*  You’re so generous.

*  This is your chance. I look forward to your performance.

*  You can’t beat this guy anyways. So don’t work too hard.

*  There might be a difference of thoughts at work here. I understand.

14:37

*  What are you doing, Seven?

*  It’s the only way for him to stay.

*  I’m okay. I got loads of time.

*  I wanna see who would win this war.

*  Save is good…! DB is more than welcome! or It sounds too tricky. I don’t know about DB…. (If you want the email)

*  Your hand is so pretty….

* I wanna know what your hand looks like Zen lol

*  Are you feeling better? You had an argument with Yoosung.

*  There’s this term to call a person who talks like you…

*  …In his personal Zen Report ver. 06.

*  Dying-to-brag-about-something’ mood!

*  So that means your practice begins now.

* That must be a lot of pressure… You should work a lot.

*  You should know when to celebrate and not.

*  You should be grateful for your present day!

*  This is boring! I’m outta here!

* You should get to work. Now.

*  You should stop making excuses and get to work.

*  You’re not slacking off, are you?

*  You still won’t be able to beat the hacker…

* He’s working without even sleeping. You think you can beat him?

* Is this woman your girlfriend?

*  You���re feeling down because you should.

*  Good luck.

*  He should deal with it. It’s his job.

*  Shouldn’t you practice right now?

*  Have a good day.

16:13

*  All his hard work is finally paying off. Now he has to work even harder.

*  Why don’t you say that after you’re done with your duty?

*  I wonder if he can really do it….

*  Is musical that popular among the public?

*  This is a person, right?

*  I don’t know. An AI…? Sounds too difficult. or Okay! Let’s send an invitation. I’d like to learn a thing or two about ticketing. (If you want the email)

*  I thought you have something more important than tickets.

*  So long

17:45

*  Hey Yoosung…

*  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

*  Wow… I wonder what it tasts like. Let me know after you try a sip, Yoosung!

*  Speak of the devil. LOLOL

*  Oh GOD7… Is it not too late to buy stocks?

*  Stocks come in 1+1? Smells fishy here…

*  Seven, didn’t you say your’re busy? Do you have time to do pranks like this?

*  He’s got a point lol

*  I’m not interested in your hobby, Yoosung.

*  Cooking?

*  LOL

*  Why don’t we now talk about GOD7’s dynamic business hobby? Give it up for Sevenstar Drink!

*  You’re too fishy…. Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying it.

*  …Police won’t be good enough to stop him. I should report his agency…

*  Sounds like an excuse to me.

*  You should first do what you have to do with classes and work… You don’t deserve to rest if you don’t.

*  Don’t waste your money on something like that.

*  It’s too late for you. Forget it.

*  That’s what the world wants us to do.

* I wish I could live without worrying about anything…

*  Dream is nothing but a mirage.

*  Since you’re giving advice…I assume you did your job well, Seven.

* Go back to work now.

*  Bye…

* You should think about what to do in the future and plan accordingly

*  He’s just…a different type of person from you.

*  You should find ESL tutoring class instead of whining.

*  Goodbye.

19:23

*  What was that? You screw up just now, didn’t you?

*  Looks like you’re full of faults.

*  Work harder. So that I can see you’re useful.

*  Okay. I’ll tell you, so first make sure you take care.

*  Are you sure the savoir trusts you?

*  I expect you to be better.

*  I’ll see what I can do and let you know whether I like it or not.

*  I also think that was a huge mistake.

*  Do your best

*  What is it?

*  I’m not going to get in trouble because of you, am I?

*  When does the elixir start to take effect?

*  Don’t tell me what to do.

* I don’t like the menu.

*  I’ll never leave you it you’re good enough.

* It’s a little cold.

*  Keep up the good work.

21:13

*  Welcome, Jumin.

*  This is rather depressing, since I’m stuck in between…

*  The hacker will win.

*  I think it’s a waste of time…

* Patience is the key…

* Don’t you think you might prick your finger if you do it in your car?

* I think it’s better for you to review documents than stitching.

* What you lost in time never comes back. You should always focus on your every second.

*  How did you get to know this person?

*  Why don’t we invite Pillow Love? or Is that what you’re going to use the unit for…? Oh dear…Jaehee… (If you want the email)

* Why don’t you start with cats?

*  That’s a simple naming…

*  Sayonara…

23:09

*  Are you still practicing, Zen?

*  His hobby is his to choose –

*  What’s your hobby, Zen?

*  Job = hobby for you…?

*  I think you should make a plan and practice accordingly.

*  Shouldn’t you just do it until you make it?

*  Why not ask Seven for help?

*  Yoosung looks so immature. Why don’t you lecture him a bit?

* I think he shouldn’t waste his time like that.

*  He’s living in a world where he has to be a hypocrite like others. I think I’d get mad if I were him.

* Whatever happens, I hope a person who hurts other will pay in the end.

* You should get to work!

* See you.

________________________________________________________________

Day 6:

00:55

*  I’ve been waiting!

*  That’s because you’re not working hard enough.

*  Isn’t tomrrow the rehersal? Are you sure you’ll be fine?

*  You’re nervous because you haven’t worked hard enough.

*  LOLOL!

*  You’re distracting Zen. Out!

*  Lolol Zen I think you’re distracted.

*  You didn’t even start your life outside of school. You already think life is pointless?

*  You should always watch your behavoirs and obey the rules.

*  The world is a dark place! Hopeless! With no light!

*  I think he still has a long way to go until he matures.

*  Oh, so this is the infamous…

*  Lololololol

*  What a repetition… It must have been boring.

*  So…is that darkness of yours…still there in your heart?

*  Think about how frustrated your parents will be with you.

*  …..

*  It’s bedtime for you.

*  Back to practice you go, Zen

* I think you’re better off alone.

*  Enjoy –

*  You’re not making excuses because you’re tired of practicing, are you…?

*  Have a good one.

03:17

*  I had something to do.

*  She said you need to do better than that.

*  I have a feeling I’ll get along with her well.

*  You’re not thinking anything funny, are you?

*  That’s a bit creepy.

*  I can drink it if I have to.

*  I think you’re weak.

*  Don’t make me hear such weak thoughts. I’m tired of them.

*  You’re pathetic…

*  Run along now.

* If you have time to show me this, you should work more on proving yourself.

*  You should go. Now.

07:40

*  I’m feeling gloomy…

*  Situation?

* Do we have a trouble or something?

*  Let’s hear it – !

*  Don’t you think it’s so alarmingly sudden?

*  V’s work must be awesome!

*  I think you should first contact V about this.

*  Maybe he wanted to get in touch with the prime minister for his grand personal plan…?

* What?

*  He seems to be rather in a hurry….

* I think you’re all being overdramatic here

* What a joy, but I think V wouldn’t even bat an eye at the news.

*  But he’s too high in the authorities. I’m getting nervous…

*  I wish we could bring the prime minister to the RFA. That will be… so fantastic

*  You do know you have less than a day till the rehersal, don’t you?

*  See you.

*  Maybe you should keep trying to reach him.

*  It’s no wonder. They’re childhood friends.

*  Congrats! The prime minister wants to buy your pictures

*  Well, I am getting a bit frustrated. Isn’t it about time…?

*  You should set the appointment now. Why don’t we bring him to the RFA?

*  I hope the prime minister could be one of us.

*  That’s just my opinion.

* I hope you consider bringing him to the RFA

* Yes…?

*  Who?

10:23

* Jumin – ! You’re seeing the prime minister today, aren’t you?

*  What a waste of few seconds of your life.

*  Do you think there’ any meaning in temporary leisure…?

*  But we can’t deny that social recognition comes before leisure. That’s unfortunate…

*  I think break and hobby are the same… They prove how lazy a person is.

*  I salute you, o wielder of life oh-so-empty…

*  The pure essence of darkness… Oh, the might power of puberty…

*  Don’t you think it’d be more lit…if the prime minister joins us?

*  You must be nervous!

*  You two shouldn’t get too involved in your hobbies and instead focus on your duties, with classes and work.

*  Does it matter whether if you tell them apart? It’s just another way of wasting your time.

*  …Anyways, I think slacking off is lazy and bad.

*  Don’t ask me something like that.

*  It’s a break when you do something without any thought. It’s a hobby when you use your head as you slack off.

*  His world is different from ours. No need to understand him.

*  That’s why we gotta choose our hobbies wisely.

*  I don’t know. I’m not really interested in his philosophy… or I’m curious about him. Why don’t we invite him to the part and hear more from him? (If you want the email)

*  I think hobbies are something out of our league. We should just balance work and break.

* Hmm…..

*  I think that’s possible because her job is still her No. 1 priority.

*  I don’t think parents are every wrong…

*  Jumin, you actually know what ‘fangirling’ means?

*  lololololololol

*  I hope you make yourself useful.

*  Do ask him about joining us…

*  I think you need to get a grip on yourself.

*  I don’t think this is the time for you to procrastinate.

*  I’m gonna finish what I’m doing!

13:10

* I’m skipping today –

* How was it?

*  The difference between talents isn’t something that can be overcome.

*  Tell me about it…. I wish his pictures would see at high prices.

*  How did your meeting go?

*  You mean V lost this golden opportunity?

*  I’m sure it’s related to that secret of his. Just what could it be?

*  He just can’t tell apart his personal life from his business life, can he?

*  Was the prime minster understanding?

*  I think V is ill. Both his body and mind seem weak.

*  I wouldn’t have let that opportunity slip away.

*  He could have had a new recruit!

*  Did you have a feel that V’s hiding something?

*  Then that would mean we can trust him…!

*  I wonder what he liked about V’s photos.

*  I don’t think discussions on politicians’ looks have any particular meaning.

*  I don’t know. I’ll side with the majority.

* I don’t think giant corporations will always assume the bad role in the economy, as long as there are good.

*  I’m not really interested in politics.

*  I didn’t know you were interesed in politics.

*  I’ll see you again, Jumin.

*  I think I’m close to conservative.

*  Hmm, not really interested. or Good idea. I’d like to learn couple things from him too. (If you want the email)

*  I’ll see you.

14:50

*  Hey hey hey Yoosung

*  You’ve barely done anything so far. I don’t think going to class will do any difference….

* I thought the only thing you do at night is playing games….

*  You said you’d do it. Now there’s no point if you’re not the best.

*  I thought you had a lot of thoughts the other day…..thinking about your dark, pointless life….

*  Why don’t we change the subject? ^^

*  Same here lol

*  He’s got looks, good social standing, authority…. I think he has everything.

*  V’s reason was kind of unreasonable….

*  I think you lost your concentration here.

*  Tomorrow’s the d-day for the rehersal.

* Don’t fall for such waste of time…..

*  Welcome, Seven.

*  Is there something wrong? It’s not related to the hacker, is it?

*  You’re not relatives with the prime minister, are you? lololol

*  I will…!

*  I’m sure he’ll manage.

*  I don’t think you have time to chat right now….

*  ….I don’t think it’ll be really helpful even if Yoosung goes to help you.

*  I’m not sure if this is a good idea….

*  Focus on your class. Now.

*  Now, back to your practices.

* A job is meant to be painful

*  I want you to think about how to improve your acting before you come back.

16:37

*  Why did you decline the offer for purchase?

*  ….I think it’s fishy that you declined.

*  Has anyone ever told you that the guilty tends to be talkative?

*  V, why didn’t you invite the prime minister to join the RFA?

*  Jumin, don’t you think that V and Seven…are really suspicious?

*  Considering the weight of the secret burdening V, I think it’s amazing that he’s performing this much as the head

*  Of course you feel complicated. You have too many secrets.

*  …It looks kind of dark.

*  At least there’s no doubt that flower doesn’t belong there…

*  ...I think you should plant the daffodil somewhere else for the sake of the small flowers. They will suffer

*  I think you’re being obsessive, V. I think the daffodil has reached a stage you can’t do anything about it….

* You should give up the daffodil. It will just ruin your garden.

*  No. Rather than throwing away a problem, I think you should try to fix it until the end.

*  Don’t you think we’d get to expect tomorrow because it can’t be predicted?

*  You should give up if you can’t solve it.

*  Come on, they don’t look alike at all.

*  Explain to me later on.

*  Do you honestly think….he really deserves the seat at the top of the RFA?

*  Does he…still miss Rika?

*  Tell him the solid truth!

*  I don’t know.

18:52

* I think he’s trying to run away from reality… It’s kind of irresponsible of him.

*  We should consider our audience’s state even when discussing truth, shouldn’t we….?

*  Uhm….I tend to say truth indirectly, so that I won’t hurt anyone….

*  Don’t you think you’re losing focus? I knew it….

*  Don’t you think you’ll get disappointed in yourself if you ruin this?

* I don’t think being good is always right.

*  Hello!

*  What kind of wine are you drinking?

*  I’ll say. I thought it’s easy.

*  You shouldn’t do that to your family.

*  I think everyone has evil within. You should awaken it, Zen.

*  But Zen would be the master of potrayting good Dr. Zekyll. That’s his area of expertise….

* You’re good-looking. I’m sure you’ll look good with whatever expression.

*  Nope he’s not.

*  lolololol

*  Is it your chief bodyguard?

*  I knew it. You so smart, Jumin.

*  Then tell him to send me an email! I’ll ask him. or I think he’ll just be busy working even if he attends the party…. Let’s just keep him working. (If you want the email)

*  Hard work matters.

*  Jumin, you’re leaving now?

*  Bye –

*  You sure are interested in Jumin a lot.

*  Go practice now.

*  Do your best.

20:49

*  Are you whining to me?

*  Aren’t you gonna work?

*  You don’t even desreve to get excited.

*  Do you even realize what the best really means?

* I wish you’d be different. I think you’re being a parrot here.

*  You’re such a freak.

*  You’re growing more pathetic the more I stay with you.

*  I was talking to be nice to you. But since you say no, I can’t help it.

*  You disappoint me every time….

*  Really? Anything?

*  So you’ll do whatever I tell you to do?

*  Again with the please… I’m getting tired of this.

*  You’re such an airhead. You’re so stupid.

*  Just go away. You’re annoying.

21:21

*  Welcome, Yoosung. Are you done with your classes?

* I don’t think that’s a dream…

*  A bad dream!

*  There’s barely a difference between love and hate.

*  This world is dominated by capitalists… This world is a chose where sentiments cannot last!

*  LOLOLOLOL

*  The sun will rise again tomorrow. As if nothing happened. Proving how small our troubles are….

*  Zen…are you sure you’ll find Yoosung helpful?

*  White is your responsibility. I don’t understand why you’d ask for help.

*  But beauty is something you’re born with…

*  That’s right… No one can dare to match your beauty, Zen.

*  But you should prepare for your future.

*  Zen, admit that you’re not good enough!

*  Narcissism doesn’t work with Yoosung the Sentimental.

*  Nope you can’t help him.

*  …This is tricky. Group project is another name for a little hell….

*  You’re doomed…

*  Are you gonna take this opportunity to master math?

*  Then I think he’ll know a lot of math tricks useful in real life lol

*  Oh! That’s good!

*  Sure. I think I want to ask him something about math. or I don’t know. I think he’ll be busy trying to hunt for clients at the party… (If you want the email)

*  Are you sure you enrolled in ones absolutely necessary?

*  You’re a perfect husband material…!

*  I think it’s because he didn’t get enough practice.

*  Zen do you think you can count on Yoosung’s advice…?

*  Make sure you don’t waste time…

*  You think that can chance anything…?

*  So there goes your sleep for the night.

Visual Novel #1:

* Who is it?

* (Open the door and check what’s outside)

* This is creepy. I hate someone like you

* I don’t need this. You should work If you have time to do this

* Why are you crying?

* Where are you going!?

23:19

*  Are you done with work?

*  Great work!!

*  Zen and Yoosung would be practicing, so other than those two… Probably…?

*  I think it’s better for him to do it alone…

*  You’re here? Don’t tell me the hacker’s loafing around…

*  So the fight isn’t over yet… I wish it’d be over quickly.

*  I think the hacker is being lazy.

*  I’m sorry I confused you a little here.

*  If this is something illegal, I’m reporting it.

*  And that hacker couldn’t beat you…? I think he’s no big deal.

*  Do you like cars that much?

*  …I knew it. You’re always up to something fishy.

*  You’re kind of weird. Seven, but since you’re talented…I’ll give you a pass.

*  I don’t think you have time to collect cars if you want to keep breathing.

*  …But having a suspicious job isn’t a good thing. I think you shouldn’t let others know.

*  I don’t know. That depends on how hard the hacker works…

*  A true love’s kiss?

*  You just won’t stop, will you…?

*  Seven…

*  This is reality…Don’t get your hopes too high.

*  I’d like to know who’d win!

*  Peace will only come after endless work.

*  Goodbye.

Visual Novel #2:

* (Go outside)

* My savior... Weren’t you going somewhere?

* I don’t like that face of yours

* This is boring now

>> BAD ENDING STORY 1 <<

________________________________________________________________

Ray Bad Relationship Ending 1:

1. Get into Ray’s route from 1 - 4 days in Another story

2. Don’t participate in the chatrooms from 5 - 6 days

Visual Novel #1 - Day 6 after chatroom at 21 : 21

* (Opens the door)

* Come in, Ray

* Thank you, Ray

* Ray

* Where are you going!?

Don’t participate in the last chatroom at 23 : 19 and unlock the branch.

Visual Novel #2:

* (Go outside)

* Who is it?

* Where is Ray?

>> BAD RELATIONSHIP STORY 1 <<